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  1. #61
    Eko's Avatar
    Eko is offline Acrobatic Dominatrix.
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    I met one... ONE midwife out of at least 20 that didn't treat me as 'just the mother'. The care and interest had nothing to do with me, and all to do with my baby. Or THEIR idea of what was best for my baby, at any rate.

    It could have just been the culture at that hospital and the fact that they were understaffed. But I don't think it's fair to take that out on new and inexperienced mothers. In fact I think it's extremely unprofessional, and if I'm treated for the next one the way I was when I was pregnant with DS I'll sure be putting them in their place!

  2. #62
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    The midwife that delivered my new little DD was an angel sent from heaven, i honestly don't think i would have done as well as i did through my very quick, surprise drug - free birth if it wasn't for her & i put a notice in the paper recently saying just how much i appreciated all she had done for us during labor & after she was born BUT while i was staying in hospital with DD i also had to deal with the rudest, coldest, most uncaring b**ch of a midwife as well. Luckily i ignored most of her attitude but she did get to me a bit ... & i ended up in tears a few times. I believe at the end of the day, mum knows best. It's YOUR baby & you have to do what you believe is best for you & your baby.

  3. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little-Pink-Hen View Post
    I know id find a summer pregnancy difficult because the heat sets it off making it worse.
    You're spot on! DS was due end of January but arrived halfway December. Though being in the aircon in hospital did help a bit, DS was still getting unwell due to all the excessive bile crossing over into his liver.
    I would walk up and down the corridors all night, every night and cry in desperation and the midwives would cry with me as they felt terrible that there was nothing they could do.
    I'm pretty sure I wore some marks in the carpet in the corridors lol.

    See, I only encountered the 1 rude midwife, the rest in the ward itself were awesome. Though don't ask me about the nurses in the SCN.
    I have only had 1 nurse who took me serious and tried to help me properly with setting up breastfeeding. All the others kept trying to persuade me to go onto formula feeding. It caused me a hell of a lot of stress, so my milk wasn't coming in. Not ideal when you're trying to establish breastfeeding

  4. #64
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    95% of my mids were great.

    I had a "hamburger boob" moment with one which was wierd :-/ and I had a few younger ones that I felt were a bit immature but in general I was happy with the care we received.

    I would never ask a midwife for lactation advice though, they all have such different opinion which is confusing. The ABA and a lactation class at the hospital helped me the most.

    PICU nurses on the other hand.. I would kiss their feet!! I cant praise them enough. Every. Single. One. Amazing!

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  6. #65
    BabushkaMumma's Avatar
    BabushkaMumma is offline Mothering with my whole heart as thats what my girls have given me.
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    I birthed 3 times (one stillbirth, one instrumental birth and one water birth) with midwives and I've never:
    - had one touch me when I didn't want to be (eg teaching me to BF), never had one yell or speak harshly to me and certainly never ever had one perform and examination etc without my consent.

    They have respected my informed wishes and supported me in my birth plans.

    They have been kind, caring, open and honest and helpful to my support teams.

    Am I lucky? Probably. But I made sure I knew what my options and rights were at birth, what can come from certain decisions and I made sure that I was quite clear and sure during our discussions about what outcomes I was hoping for and what we needed to be on the look out for during labour.

    I viewed them as my support team and treated them that way and I felt supported back. I wouldn't have it any other way.

  7. #66
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    I've had 3 hospital births, 2 through public midwife programs and I can say not one was bad or a b$tch. I had 2 fantastic births with only 1 midwife present each time.
    The only problem I have ever had is with the MHCN (??) with my first, so bad I have never gone with the others.

  8. #67
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    I had DD in a private hospital and I loved the middie I had for the majority of my labour. She left us alone but was there whenever I needed her, never pushy and was very encouraging. She answered all my questions and was so calm and patient. It was a long labour so she missed the birth but came to my room to visit and see DD the next day. The one I had for the birth was also good.

    One or two of the midwives in the nursery were a bit pushy and dismissive, but most of the middies and nurses on the ward were great.

  9. #68
    ~Marigold~'s Avatar
    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    Personally have never encountered a "bad" midwife. Each and every one have been lovely, helpful and nice. Also, I was very young when I had DS and kind of expected them to judge or look down on me, but I recieved nothing but positivity and genuine help and kindness. Same with this pregnancy, 12 years later; all wonderful, caring women.

  10. #69
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    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    My Midwife with DS1 was *amazing*....a really, really wonderful woman full of kindness and patience.

    Unfortunately I had a 'complication' and I was transferred from the birth centre to the ward in the public hospy, where I encountered not one, but several AWFUL midwives They were snappy, rude, unfriendly and a few of them even rolled their eyes at some of my questions, to the point where I left hospital not knowing how to properly change a nappy because I was too afraid to ask (normally I would have spoken out at the time, but I felt incredibly vulnerable post-birth). I also discharged without medical consent because I felt so uncomfortable and unwelcome there, and I was being treated appallingly. It was so bad that I actually complained to the hospital several weeks after the birth, in the hopes that some of the underlying issues could be resolved somehow. It really tainted an otherwise beautiful moment in my life.

    I understand the extremely hard work a midwife performs, including shift work, with quite low pay a lot of the time, but at the end of the day, there is no need to be awful. Birth is such an overwhelming time in a womans life, and can be emotionally + physically exhausting...the woman needs support, encouragement, help, with kind and gentle words. It is such a wonderful time where first memories are formed and it's really unfortunate that one negative person can infect the experience.

    I met with several midwives leading up to the birth of my second son, and all were incredibly gently, caring and lovely. They never had the rushed/impatient demeanour which was so evident on the ward and they seemed very happy to be midwives. They were all independent midwives.

  11. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by TeamDestructo View Post
    The thing that drove me nuts though was every 8 hours a different middie would clock on with us and say COMPLETeLY different things for us to follow than the last middie, etc etc every 8 hours. Like complete opposite contradictory spectrums of advice. And got snarky at us when we didn't follow exactly what they said. I just couldn't believe that a hospital let them do that. I mean isn't there policy etc that the middies have to follow for consistency!
    THIS! Like its not hard enough trying to figure out how to look after a newborn.


 

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