We have received financial help but have always worked very hard, so I don't feel ashamed or whatnot. The help has been gifted and never asked for...in our family, you just do that for family members if in that sort of financial position. It allows us to buy some nice things, go out for dinners and to travel. We would be fine financially without it, but it makes life less stressful and more enjoyable.
I will do the same for my children, and will also teach them about saving money and working. If it helps them in any way whatsoever (even for a little bit of fun or travel), then why not!
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09-07-2012 12:30 #21
09-07-2012 12:31 #22
As pp's have said - I think if it's a one-off/unexpected thing (like if parents win lotto and give some to their kids, helping with a wedding, etc), that's wonderful.
If it's a regular thing to bail them out of financial difficulty or to make life easier for them when perhaps it wouldn't hurt to learn some tough lessons I think it's absolutely terrible. I want my kids to be independent and confident they can survive on their own two feet.
My poor uni student days taught me a lot about my ability to get through a fortnight on $20 after bills and rent and that was a valuable life lesson. DH on the other hand regularly racked up tens of thousands of credit card debt which his parents regularly wiped for him. I tell you, I'm much better with money than he is.
Last edited by duckduckgoose; 09-07-2012 at 12:34.
09-07-2012 12:34 #23
I think help either money or time/effort should be freely avail between family. But that's my family.
DH and I own an investment property and my mum rents it off us below market price. She can't afford her own house and renting is stressful for her. She also keeps her savings in our offset account (she has full access via card/Internet) to lower our payments.
Mum helps us out by babysitting regularly and will be looking after our children when I start working again. Why pay childcare fees when we can pay my mum or reduce her rent? But it will be her choice of days and frequency if she wants to do it.
My brother and I both got 5000 each when we turned 21 to do what we liked with. I saved it for my wedding and my brother bought his first car.
But neither of us asked for the money.
My grandparents gave my mum and my aunt 10 000 each for their home deposit. I like this idea to be able to help your kids out.
My DH on the other hand won't get anything from his parents till they are dead as it's their way of doing it.
09-07-2012 12:36 #24
09-07-2012 12:37 #25
[QUOTE=share a book;6681108]Buttoneska, you seem really defensive about it, everything ok?[/QUOT
Sorry, yeh I guess I am defensive I have posted a few money threads lately asking for some advice on stuff and been told I am spoilt - it just p1sses me off a little.
eta: nothing to do with this thread though, but I just sick of the idea that adults have to fend for themselves, I find it a silly philosophy and i think it impacts on the emotional wellbeing of a family much more to have parents who work non stop and are never home then to have parents who are helpt our my their grandparent (from the childs perspective)
Last edited by Buttoneska; 09-07-2012 at 12:40.
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09-07-2012 12:37 #26
09-07-2012 12:39 #27
We are grateful for what we have been given. It wasn't much, but it helped a lot. My husband saved up over 100k to buy our first house. It's not like we waste our money, or live extravagant lives. We have one computer, no tablets or other mod cons. We don't waste money buying the latest gadgets for our kids. We don't have expensive cars. Our mortgage is big, but that is because of the area we choose to live in. We stand on our own two feet without the help of others.
I think the problem is people who expect help, or whose family help too much.
09-07-2012 12:40 #28Sorry, yeh I guess I am defensive I have posted a few money threads lately and been told I am spoilt - it just p1sses me off a little.
I moved overseas and out of my families network, I definitely get the green eyed monster when I see my cousins getting their initial set up for their businesses paid for by family or big weddings, but it doesn't mean they don't deserve these things.
09-07-2012 12:42 #29
09-07-2012 12:43 #30
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