I really enjoyed reading this article about sharing [11 Ways to Teach Your Child to Share] from Ask Dr. Sears, as my son is about to turn 3 so it's all very relevant
I particularly liked these paragraphs:
Even at four or five years of age, expect selective sharing. A child may reserve a few precious possessions just for himself. The child is no more likely to share her treasured teddy or tattered blanket than you would share your wedding ring or the heirloom shawl your mother gave you. Respect and protect your child's right to his own possessions.True sharing implies empathy, the ability to get into another's mind and see things from their viewpoint. Children are seldom capable of true empathy under the age of six. Prior to that time they share because you condition them to do so. Don't expect a child less than two or 2½ to easily accept sharing.^^ I receive a fair bit of flack from other parents because I don't expect DS to share his precious trains (his "engines") with other kids and don't force him to, but this article makes me feel better about it! I think it makes a lot of sense. EnjoyDon't force a child to share. Instead, create attitudes and an environment that encourage your child to want to share. There is power in possession. To you, they're only toys. To a child, they're a valuable, prized collection that has taken years to assemble.
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05-07-2012 02:32 #1
11 Ways to Teach Your Child to Share
05-07-2012 05:28 #2
Subscribing so I can read the article on sharing later. My one year old (!yr old today, yay!) has just started handing his blocks to me...so cute. Before that it was dummies, which I didn't particularly want to share!
05-07-2012 05:50 #3
Thanks for sharing. I don't make ds share his special toys but if he takes them to preschool he has to
05-07-2012 07:12 #4
Subbing to read later. DS wants to share half chewed food with me and no amount of "you have it" will stop him. He's only 15 months but I have noticed how upset he and his friends get when someone tries to play with their toy.
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05-07-2012 07:25 #5-
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05-07-2012 08:05 #6
My kids have their own bedrooms which is really important to me, even though they sleep with DH and I. All of their 'precious' toys are generally kept in there and I encourage them if they bring them out to put them back in there when they're done (easier said than done with a 1 and 2yo), they're not automatically allowed in each others bedrooms and visitors aren't either, it's their space and makes their precious things safe.
We have a large playpen full of 'communal' toys that anyone can play with in our living area without intruding on my childrens space.
I remember when I was much younger, an aunt came to our house with her children and her and my mum proceeded to have an argument because my mum wouldn't let her kids play in my brothers bedroom (brother was 6 hours away at dads for the weekend). Mum had put out a lot of toys in the living area, but my aunt said mum was being selfish, my brother was being babied and needed to learn to share. My brother is a 'collector' and his 'toys' are very precious to him.
I definitely think it teaches kids to respect their own and others possessions by not insisting they share absolutely everything.
Good to see you back Witwicky.
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20-07-2012 08:43 #7
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giggle berry (20-07-2012)
20-07-2012 08:52 #8Bubhub Ambassador - tongue in cheek
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I think it's perfectly acceptable a child have some 'treasures' they dont have to share.
My DD is only 2 and a bit, & she only has one comfort toy/treasure. I would never expect her to share it. Her cousin tried to play with it once & DD got quit upset. I just explained it was DDs special toy/just for DD but there were lots of other toys to play with etc etc. It went down well.
DDs loves 'sharing' atm. I emphasis when I'm sharing with her eg, 'so nice of mummy to share her drink/food/pretend make up/tooth paste etc with you! That's very good sharing' and DD in turn offers to share her things with me. It's pretty cute.
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