Two words. Emotional vampire. Run for the hills, she sounds quite unstable. Is she receiving counselling or any professional assistance?
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29-06-2012 18:10 #11
29-06-2012 18:38 #12Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2005
Yeah I wouldn't be keen to keep providing support to someone who talks about me behind my back. Stuff that.
29-06-2012 19:28 #13
Friendship is a 2 way street. I'd confront her about it. Tell her your not happy to continue the friendship because of xyz, if she is a true friend she will try and redeem herself but by the sounds of her, she will just bish more.
30-06-2012 07:12 #14
I used to have a friend like that who only seemed to want to be friends when it suited her or used me as an alibi for when she was cheating on her partner. After she and her partner split she still never had the time to continue being friends, she never wanted to catch up or come over n people made excuses on her behalf as to why she couldn't. I ended up deciding I just couldn't be friends with someone who didn't have the time for their friends and when I told her this by txt she had a major go at me saying I was selfish and uncaring and not a true friend. I ended up saying that she can talk after all the help I gave her when her ex threw her out which she threw back in my face. I havent heard from her in over 2 months when she accused me of telling her ex next door neighbour something about something that happened over Facebook which caused her ex to stop letting her have the kids. I told her that it was her own fault she lost access to her kids and not mine and she should take responsibility for her own actions. She ended up blocking me n I'm like good riddance to bad rubbish. My life is less stressful without her in it.
30-06-2012 07:42 #15
No thank you.
I refuse to get involved with people *****ing about their friends behind their back because I assume if they can do it about them, they would do it about me too. It's not necessary and extremely childish. If you have a problem with someone speak to them directly, not their friends who will probably tell them anyway.
Anyway OP, I would confront her about it. Tell her you feel your friendship is unbalanced as you put in alot of time and effort with her and she abuses that. Say that until she learns to respect you and be thankful for your kindness you will no longer be helping her.
30-06-2012 07:55 #16
30-06-2012 08:28 #17
You sound like a very compassionate person. You don't need to put up with that behaviour if it upsets you, especially since this isn't your job, but something you are doing out of kindness. You are not obligated to help her if it stressful or unpleasant for you.
She does need help, by the sounds of it, but not necessarily from you. I'd be giving her the number for a professional caring agency (blue nurses? Another local NGO?) and let her know that your circumstances have changed and you are no longer available to help her.
30-06-2012 08:30 #18
It sounds like it has never really been a 'friendship' but you being a volunteer carer for her.... Which is fine if that is your expectation, but it sounds like you expected this to be more mutual.
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