My three children were attending a local Day Care Centre from early 2011 until a few months ago. Their ages at the time were 1,2 and 3 years old. In November last year, I went to pick them up and was met by the CEO (it's a Community based Centre), who gave me a letter.
The general idea of this letter was that a Staff member (unnamed) was fired and reported to the Police for dealing with children (no room or anything given) in a manner unbecoming a Staff member.
I immediately asked what exactly that meant and was told that because it was a police matter, he couldn't give me any information. It has remained that way to this day, basically "no comment".
So the next week I paid attention to who was no longer at the Centre and it was easy to figure out that it was the male who worked in the 0 - 2 age group primarily. Alarm bells started to ring but information was impossible to gain and I thought it might not have been as serious as I thought and let it go.
Then last week it has all come out in the local papers that a male child care worker went to court and pled guilty to two charges in relation to sexual fondling (and whatever else they couldn't publish) and indecent dealings with two children in his care. I had no doubt that it's my son's carer, they named the age group, his position, and the date that he was reported. They all match. They can't say his name or the Centre's name.
The headlines scream "Pedophile released with slap on the wrist" - "Child Care Pedophile released on suspended sentence" - that kind of thing. There are letters in the paper every day screaming at the light sentence and demanding justice for the children he was caring for.
I am so, so upset about all this. Can I describe to you how sick I feel? How I can't sleep? All I can think about is how my children were the first in the Centre in the mornings and how often I left them in his sole care. How he would OFFER to change their nappies or take them to the toilet. Can you imagine what I'm thinking? I trusted him - and he might have done something (and chances are, he did do something) to one or all of my babies.
You know the worst part? I know his name. I know his address. I know the car he drives. I know who he is and what he looks like. I saw him at the shopping Centre!! I want to tell everyone his name, but more than that, I want to hurt him. I want to run into him again now so that I can scream out his name and point to him and yell to everyone that it was him!! He's the child care pedophile - and see what happens when people know! I want to keep a baseball bat in my car and smash his windows and headlights and scare him to death! That's what I would like to do.
Now what? How do I accept this? They have said the gov't is trying to appeal his case because of the public outcry to try to get him some jail time. But that might not happen. So I'm thinking of making his name publicly known - through facebook, anonymous notes, emails to the paper etc. I want him to suffer somehow. Why should he get away with this?? It's just not fair.
Please give me anything... support, advice, anything - help me be at peace with this because it's just tearing me up inside.
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28-06-2012 21:01 #1
Help me to try to move on from this..
28-06-2012 21:07 #2
What?? He's not in jail?? Start a Facebook group please!! Anonymously of course..
28-06-2012 21:19 #3
No, he got a two year sentence that he doesn't have to serve for some reason. He's a free man.
28-06-2012 21:20 #4
I'm so sorry you're going through this. How awful. Sending you so much strength, love and my best wishes.
I don't have any idea what you should do, but don't do anything that might get you in trouble as well. You don't want to end up in the middle of it and have anything happen that might see you separated from your babies.
28-06-2012 21:23 #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2006
I gather you not the only parent that would have worked this all out, someone is surely going to spill the information. Contact the media? I am not sure what I would do in this situation. The anger you must feel. I could say you would have been notified if it was your child involved, but how do they know how many children were involved.
I work in the child care industry and quite often male workers are judged because someone like this creep is out there. Male child care workers are few and far between and are worth more than gold. It really makes me angry that this case will affect the judgments on other male carers.
I have just read articles relating to this and it has his name is with held to protect the children he abused. I would therefor be very careful at exposing him because the families directly involved in the case may have requested this action.
I think you can only hope that the AG will win his appeal for this case to be reopened. Maybe be proactive and start petitions to support the reopening of the case.
28-06-2012 21:24 #6
That's beyond sickening I understand you wanting to name and shame him publicly but you don't want to get in trouble yourself. What an awful human being - not that he deserves to be called a human
28-06-2012 21:26 #7
Im in shock. What a horrible thing hun
28-06-2012 21:38 #8
I couldnt read and not reply, I am actually crying reading your post as I can only imagine how angry, sad and sick you must be feeling. How terrible.
My DS is in care (has been since 11 months old and is now almost 3 yrs old). It would totally destroy me if I knew this was happening to him.
I would suggest not naming him. You dont want to get yourself into any trouble.
I really suggest you get some counselling, I think this will help you get through the grief you must be feeling
28-06-2012 21:47 #9
Im sorry I have no advice, Im just speechless..how awful
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28-06-2012 21:58 #10
Oh my gosh that's horrible I am so sorry.
I can't believe the police didn't contact you and get you involved? How do They know your child wasn't abused by him? What if you wanted to take it further? Shouldn't they be offering you councelling at least?
I know of a family where the father sexually abused his daughter and he's still free. It's sickening.
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