After 10 years together, yes we still have spark. He's my best friend, my lover, my soulmate
Don't get me wrong I still have moments when i want to wollop him with a wet sock but the spark remains as strong as ever
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28-06-2012 20:59 #21
28-06-2012 21:08 #22Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2006
lil miss Thanks for reminding me that stress can kill the spark
There is spark in our relationship atm, a spark ready to light the wick of bomb in my mind!
We have been through a fair bit in the past 12 months and it has defiantly taken it's toll on me, which has loaded our relationship with stress. We have set up a budget which has also culled a lot of our entertainment and 'fun'' spendings.
I hope in the next 12 months our lives will sort it's self out and we can work towards keeping a spark and not just 'comfortable'. Mind you I do get a little sick in the stomach when I see those couples gooing and gaaing over each other... So our spark is not like that spark! Just a happy content spark would be nice!!
28-06-2012 21:24 #23
We still have the spark in our relationship. S3x and live and anything else. We adore each other. We have been together 5 years, married 2. 2 children. House, flood, starting again, depression, moving 7 times, another house etc.
We havent always had the spark. It comes and goes over the years. But we definitely have it at the moment. Life throws alot at you. It's hard to show someone the love they need when your stressed etc.
Relationships are constant work. You need to work hard to make them work well. Both parties do!!
29-06-2012 07:10 #24
Hugs to you book worm. I know where you are coming from, my dh and I are total opposites and I wonder how we are going to last in the later years when we have nothing in common.
29-06-2012 07:54 #25
I've been with my husband for 3 years in July and married in July 2010, we have very strong spark. It still gives me butterflies. we adore each other.
Spark I would think can fade and come back at certain times I'm sure.
29-06-2012 07:58 #26
7 years and 4.5 years married. We have been through so so much and still have a spark absolutely. I miss him when he's at work!
29-06-2012 08:37 #27
I think our spark is a little bit non existant at the moment and that's possibly from my side because he seems very much trying to be how we used to be. I am just in a slump at the moment.
29-06-2012 08:51 #28Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
After 8 yrs we sure do..although sometimes I look forward to him going to work..so I can look forward to him coming home!!
29-06-2012 09:19 #29Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2005
Yep! We've been together 10 years and married 8. There were times where the spark wasnt there as we had younger kidlets and I was pretty sick 3 years ago, now they are older and more self sufficient and sleeping through the night and Im reasonably well again, we've discovered each other again We watch TV shows that we are both interested in etc. Having a common interest can help. Luckily Im into sci fi and DH is too, we like the same things, but we also have different interests. DH is a gym junkie, I HATE exercise lol! Thats his time out :P
I love reading books, his idea of reading is a car mag
Naughty text (no pics lol!!) and just simple little notes in lunch boxes help too.
Stress is a massive factor in relationships (and money worries!) DH and I have had to really go through the stress contributors and really cut back on the triggers etc.
29-06-2012 09:43 #30
[quote deleted by moderator]
So do you think you have fallen out of love with him or he has fallen out of love with you or both?
Do you think its maybe something you should speak with him about?
I have been married before....got married young (21) and thought that it would be forever..and I truely believed I loved him. After a couple of years the sex spark died completely and the love faded until I just thought if him as a good friend. I really felt like something was missing, like I was trapped. I went to work in the city in a new job (project management) and I thrived! I knew what I was missing...and my DH wasnt a part of that.
The hardest decision I made was to leave him...I didnt think it was fair to stay in a loveless marriage...not for him and not for me.
I moved out a got a little flat near the beach...it was just me on my own and I loved it! I then met DP a year later and I knew that was it. He as THE ONE. We dated for a year and then went around Australia for 9 months and I really was able to work out if this was the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
I was glad that I was able to grow and experience things on my own and work out what I wanted.
Now I am not saying you should leave at all....just telling you my story.
I really recommend sitting down and just opening up about how you feel....before you start to resent him and your situation. Maybe he feels the same? Maybe when you speak with him you can work out your feelings and you both can work out where to go next if its counselling or even something like a dirty weekend away.
Do you have kids? That can be really hard on a relationship as well.
I guess all I can say is that its ok. All relationships wax and wane....its normal. I do hope you work things out
Last edited by Mod-pegasus; 29-06-2012 at 23:13.
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