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  1. #1
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    Default *** spin off *** when the other parent is working...

    Do you have your step child in the holidays if your partner ( their biological parent ) is working?
    OR do you send you child to their bio's house for the holidays even if you know they're working?
    I can't remember exactly when we stopped having SS during the holidays.. I think it was about 3-4 years ago. There was literally no point. He'd be bored and I'd be internally combusting by the time DH got home.

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    I'm not a step parent but "bio" mum - we used to have an arrangement where his dad would have DS for one week in school holidays and me the other. It took the pressure off me financially as it meant I didn't have to fork out quite so much for vacation care and him because his CS assessment went down (this was to make up for the nights he missed throughout the term).

    I'm not sure of the ins and outs of their home life but from what DS tells me he spent the majority of time with his step-mum, which suited me fine... actually I preferred that.

    I actually managed to get these school holidays off. SO excited!!!

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    HugsBunny is offline Once upon a time there was a bunny.........
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    I would be very upset if my boys went to their dads house for a week in the holidays and he didn't take the week off to spend with them.

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    no bio dad...no visit.

    I see no point in him going and spending time with his step mother.

    I don't work (i am a uni student atm) so he would be with me and DD.

    Also, if for some reason I had to go away, ex would be offered the time with DS if he was available. If ex not available DS happily stay with DH and DD.

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    Quote Originally Posted by smileygirl View Post
    no bio dad...no visit.

    I see no point in him going and spending time with his step mother.

    I don't work (i am a uni student atm) so he would be with me and DD.

    Also, if for some reason I had to go away, ex would be offered the time with DS if he was available. If ex not available DS happily stay with DH and DD.
    It's very very hard for DH to get time off work. So we are in the same mind set.
    BM has suggested a couple of times that SS should come anyway so he can spend time with his step mum (me), brothers and sister... Ahhhhh yeah. Not happening. It's SO stressful and the dynamic is exhausting. She's stopped asking now.

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    Ss arrives on Sunday and will spend the majority of the two weeks with me. It works for us. 1) dh is working. He can't take two weeks off 3-4 times a year, and he still sees him mornings and nights anyway. We can't do without the money. 2) Ss isn't just here for his dad, he is also here for his siblings (whether step or half), and his grandparents and cousins etc. and frankly, he also comes to see me.

    I remember when BM told dh ss was not coming for the weekend because dh was going to be working for half the Saturday. So he told her that she wasn't allowed to go to her hairdressing appointment that week because she would be leaving Ss with her partner, and seeing as Ss should only be in the care of one of his parents it wasn't right. She hasn't mentioned it since.

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    I'm a step mum and my sd comes up every school holidays and her dad never takes time off because we can't afford luxury time off. Dp and I have 3 children together and it is actually my dp that says she will come up to spend time with her half siblings and me which I think is BS. It adds so much stress to my life because my 4 year old and sd(13) fight like anything plus she complains to her dad about me not letting her help with the babies (23 months and 10 weeks) but I just find it easier to stick to my routine and way of doing things. Plus it doesn't help that her and I don't get along most of the time...grrr really not looking forward to Friday night when she flies in for week and half

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    I'm not in that situation but if Dh had other kids I would certainly be keen to make the effort and have them over on holidays even if Dh was working. It would be important To me that dh's kids from a previous relationship and our kids spend time together. How else will they get to know each other?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    I'm not in that situation but if Dh had other kids I would certainly be keen to make the effort and have them over on holidays even if Dh was working. It would be important To me that dh's kids from a previous relationship and our kids spend time together. How else will they get to know each other?
    Yeah... But that's the point really. You're not in the situation and really have no idea how hard it is.
    It's not as simple as that. They do spend time together, when DH is here.
    Just after step parents and blended family/single parent opinions.

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    Quote Originally Posted by cso View Post
    I'm a step mum and my sd comes up every school holidays and her dad never takes time off because we can't afford luxury time off. Dp and I have 3 children together and it is actually my dp that says she will come up to spend time with her half siblings and me which I think is BS. It adds so much stress to my life because my 4 year old and sd(13) fight like anything plus she complains to her dad about me not letting her help with the babies (23 months and 10 weeks) but I just find it easier to stick to my routine and way of doing things. Plus it doesn't help that her and I don't get along most of the time...grrr really not looking forward to Friday night when she flies in for week and half
    It's so hard isn't it! A change in dynamic can be very stressful for everyone.
    We've finally got to a good place for everyone involved. It's not ideal but it works for us.


 

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