Child not wanting to visit other parent

[Ana Gram]

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[faroutbrusselsprout]

Honestly? We just allowed him to choose. He was becoming increasingly home sick and not enjoying his time. He couldn't have been further away from us (in Australia) and he is quite aware of the distance between the 2 states. I think it will only damage the relationship more if she's made to go...
FOB (after 5 years) just spent 4 days over here visiting last week as DS didn't want to go there. DS still got homesick and had to spend 2 nights at home instead of 4 nights with FOB at his hotel.
And not being able to take time off work...?? Weelllll I think that renders the whole trip pretty pointless if she's not keen on spending it with her Nan..
Such a hard position.

[HowCrazyCool]

When it was me my mum didn't make me go. I have a a very strained relationship with my dad, he moved away two years later when i was 15 and i do not have the same bond with him as with my mum, or aunt's or uncles etc. He doesn't know how i react in situations, how i make fun/joke, when im being serious, what things i like or don't, He just doesn't know me at all to be honest. If i could go back in time i would go to his house. I feel no major loving feelings for him as he never made the effort, he moved and didn't fight for me to stay there. Good luck though cause it's not an easy situation to be in.

[JaneDoe]

What the hell is the point in sending a child for visitation if that person isn't even going to take time off to spend time with their child?!?!

I think FOB should take some annual leave and come and spend some quality time with your DD!

I don't know if your relationship with FOB is good? If its breaking orders for her not to go?

If she really wants to stay I'd try everything in my power to let her!

[cluckcluck]

I'm sort of in the same situation as you. Fob has ds and dd every second weekend from friday arvo to sunday arvo, recently we've decided he can also have them every thursday arvo for a few hours.

Dd hates going with him but he is her father and he loves her so I've told her unless she has a good reason for not wanting to go then she has to go, although I really don't think she should have to but as the custodial parent I have to try and foster a good relationship between the kids and their dad.

I'm also taking her to counselling because of it, she doesn't have a close relationship with her dad, if it were up to me she wouldn't have to go if she didn't want to.

Maybe you could tell fob that if your dd will be at her nans the entire time she won't be going.

[grumpysmurf]

we did a lot of swapping. hard on our lives but made it easier for dd. so in that event she would go to her dads the other week instead. hard when youre interstate though

[River Song]

if ex doesn't have the day off then DS doesn't go...end of story.

He goes to see his dad...if his dad cannot be bothered taking time off to see him...he stays with me.

As DS gets older, it does get harder. He has a busy life now and his dad needs to fit in with him to some degree. My ex always choses to "not be bothered" doing the running about and would prefer to leave that to me.

Talk to your ex...can't he make some compromises to make sure your DD is happy?

[Benji]

I don't blame her - who wants to spend their holiday alone with their nan and without their friends? I agree with the others, it doesn't really seem like a visitation if dad isn't even going to be there

[raracookie]

Ex DP lives 6 hours away and I planned a trip after Christmas to take DD up to see him. Found out two days before we were to leave he hadn't taken any time off work so I cancelled the trip.

If fob knew your dd was coming he should have arranged some time off.
I also think it's unfair. Especially seeing as she doesn't actually want to go

[MinkyJ]

Can he get like one or two days off so she can go for a long weekend?