I don't think you're being unreasonable. I do think your DH should let DSD go (I've no idea why the others can't go but there would have to be a reason - perhaps it's only a certain amount of people allowed at a time or something??) but I think he should tell her mother that she can drop her off later, you guys won't be home.
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28-06-2012 09:36 #21Senior Member
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28-06-2012 10:02 #22
I can hear the frustration in your voice OP. I've been a step parent too and though you try to be a reasonable person in a sometimes unreasonable situation - it does get you down that you are not in control of your own life.
I would be asking her to have the child overnight and then asking for another night with the step kids to make up for it.
Of course that might not be possible but its harder for her to argue that when she is really the one asking for a change.
I think it's hard for those who are not step parents to understand the frustration - not being critical of previous posters but noone dreams of having a family that is often impacted by someone from outside IYKWIM? And you do try to focus on the kids and put them first all the time but it's OKAY to be frustrated about that.
Take care xx
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28-06-2012 10:44 #23
As for your scenario, DH would never presume to make plans for the kids on BMs access days. If something like this came up he would check with her before telling either kid. It's a common courtesy and it's why we get frustrated that she does not extend the same to us. Previously, she agreed to the kids being part of someone's wedding party. Something she knew about well in advance. The kids mentioned it but didn't know when. We assumed it was in her time, but no. She told us under a week before. The kids had been taken to fittings, had outfits bought by the bride etc, we couldn't say no without putting others at a massive inconvenience and disappointing the kids. So we had to CANCEL and accommodation booking and beg for our deposit back, and miss out on a weekend away. There are other examples but this is just to demonstrate that this is not the first time, hence my feelings of frustration.
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28-06-2012 10:50 #24Senior Member
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- Nov 2007
I do agree Atropos, it's good to be flexible but not good to get a child excited about something without discussing it first with the other parent and whether it's an inconvenience to them.
28-06-2012 11:18 #25
29-06-2012 07:18 #26
Update- an extra ticket has been "found" for DSS. Now have to struggle to explain to DD why she is the only one who can't go. This step family stuff is really hard
29-06-2012 13:01 #27
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