I don't believe in love at first sight at all. If I met someone who I was attracted to (even if only slightly) I would date them to see if feelings blossomed (which has gone both ways for me in the past).
My DP I suppose you could say is a "treat em mean" guy (well he used to be). Behind closed doors he is the sweetest guy
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26-06-2012 10:56 #11
26-06-2012 11:02 #12Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
No, I wouldn't settle. To me that guy would become my friend.
I think that whatever your 'type' you can fall in love with someone who doesn't fit it. If you haven't, then it just means you haven't met the right one.
I couldn't imagine being in a relationship with someone if I had to convince myself to make it work from the start.
It's one thing to be open minded about going on a date with someone you wouldn't usually consider, but a whole different thing to keep dating/ end up with someone you don't have feelings for. I think the relationship would be more of a companionship relationship - and that's not fair on the other person. And then what if you met someone you really had feelings for AFTER that? Nope... The guy deserves to be with someone who adores him as much as he adores them. Not fair to pretend/ try to have feelings you don't.
26-06-2012 11:13 #13
It's not really a case that I only want the fairytale romance, after all these years my marriage certainly hasn't been all sunshine and roses lol There is no perfect marriage, just 2 people perfect for each other.
I just couldn't go thru my life thinking meh he's ok I guess.
26-06-2012 11:19 #14
No, not again. I settled for my exH because I thought he would be a good Dad and because I didn't want to be single and childless as I approached 30. How very STUPID of me!!!! He is a good dad, a very good dad indeed. But he became obsessed with putting DS first and it ruined our relationship. I'll never ever settle for someone who I'm not in love with.
26-06-2012 11:19 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
So far my relationship has been pretty romance movie style It's only been a few years though.
I just have to take one look at him and melt.
I do think that relationships have a tendency to change with time though, I have no doubt when we're old and grey and too old to be randy young people we will be the best of friends.
26-06-2012 11:25 #16Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
I hate the "treat them mean, keep them keen" guys. I hate mind games. If a guy like that came along I wouldnt give him a minute of my time. "If you like me, then show me, if you are ignoring me etc, then you obviously arent interested or you are playing mind games and arent worth my time... BYE"
I love nice guys, I married one!!
I would never settle. If I was in a relationship and wasnt happy, or couldnt see it going long term, I would leave.
The question is: Do you usually settle for the bad ones? Why would you like a guy who "treated you mean"?
26-06-2012 11:27 #17
I melt at the sight of my ex unfortunately (it's only been 2 weeks since we broke up.) He is the definition of bad boy. I seem to go for the bad boy types. I have to find them attractive or it just won't work.
26-06-2012 12:20 #18
Yes i would i think.
Cant explain as gotta get ready for work right now.
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26-06-2012 12:30 #19
Well, the title reads "Dating.... Would you 'settle'?" I think I would on a date, definitely. Appearances can be deceiving and getting to know somebody better could be a welcome surprise - you never know! As well as nice, they may be really funny, smart, good in bed - whatever it is you look for. But you might never know that unless you go out on a date or two!
I'd never settle with a relationship again. The feelings ex-DW and I had for one another were never strong enough to weather the storm that ended up happening. The relationship that I had with ex-DP is closer to what I want, but with a happier ending!
26-06-2012 12:36 #20Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
Don't choose the mean ones!! Heaps of my friends do this and honestly.. its usually bad..If I were you.. I would give nice guys a chance.
Personally I have always been attracted to needy lost puppy dog types.. I wouldn't recommend that either !
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