Thank you all so very much for your replies! This was exactly what I expected and passed most of them on to my husband.
Im on my iPhone and there were so many things I wanted to quote to say particular thanks to, for example the real life stories, how utterly heart breaking and all of your experiences too. I am going to sit him down tonight to read them.
His excuses are
1 our son loves it
2 it's a short drive and he is going slow
3 he never sees another vehicle ever on his way to day care
I think my dh likes being 'fun dad' and didn't really think about the ramifications - no excuse though.
Whilst crying and reading him the few responses I had last night he promised he wouldn't do it again and was so hurt by the fact I thought he would ever put our son in danger ( I quickly pointed out that was exactly what he had done twice)
Also I think he thought woman would be more like me, where I worry about our sons welfare all day every day and he is very relaxed and carefree (prob why I worry so much) and if I left him and we weren't together I assume he would be more reckless because he wouldn't have to answer to anyone.
I can only think he thinks other 'men' are relaxed and could see I was over exaggerating and that the risk was that small it would never happen, I told him once is all it takes. So please keep replying, I really mean it when I aid I'm going to get him to read this. The funny thing is I feel I will be punished in some way for making him feel bad or like a bad dad. By punished I mean told he is never picking him up or dropping him off which may sound like a blessing and would ultimately let me relax knowing my son is safe would also put me in a tight situation as he would get dropped off early and picked up late, which is time he could spend with his dad.
Anyway enough rambling from me, I really appreciate your replies.
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26-06-2012 10:11 #71
26-06-2012 10:14 #72
I was kept in a booster for years. I had certainly started school when I was still in one. I was born in 86.
Any parent who cares what other parents think about their using a booster is a twit - your child's wellbeing and safety is SO MUCH more important than someone saying, "but they'll get teased..." or whatever. Yeah, well, that's better than them dying when it could have been prevented.
26-06-2012 10:14 #73
Last edited by Pearl Barley; 26-06-2012 at 10:15. Reason: Double
26-06-2012 10:14 #74
26-06-2012 10:17 #75
Just remind him all it takes is ONE other person to see him doing this, just one, and a lot of trouble can follow because of this very stupid risky move. DH & I both agreed if we saw this, we'd take number plates and report it. Best he recognizances now that it was stupid, and stupider to do it twice, and he should not do it again. He's lucky nothing bad happened. I wouldn't risk it anymore.
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Pearl Barley (26-06-2012)
26-06-2012 10:19 #76Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
Eta. We also used to ride around in the back of a Ute a lot and when I was ten one of my friends died in an accident this way. It's good we are so much more safety conscious.now.
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Last edited by bumMum; 26-06-2012 at 10:24.
26-06-2012 10:20 #77
26-06-2012 10:20 #78
Wow, im shocked that he clearly has no regard for his child life. A man will put his family first. He isn't behaving like a man, he is behaving like an immature little boy. If it were my Dh, I would take my dd and leave him. I think you should tell the child care, and if they see him arriving with a 21month old not in a car seat, they will be legally required to report it. I would also get some photos or your ds and Photoshop it and give your dp the pics of ds lying in a coffin, looking like he has been in a car accident, all bloody, etc. Very distressing stuff - but no where near as distressing as if he continues to put him unrestrained in the car and it actually happens. He will have to live the rest of his life knowing that he caused his child's death due to his recklessness.
26-06-2012 10:21 #79-
- Join Date
- Mar 2012
- On the farm :-)
I would be kicking his **** and he would very soon become an ex husband. I am a good driver (no at fault accidents in 10 years of driving) but I was hit on the freeway while I was stopped at road works. Other driver wasn't watching and was going about 100kms when they hit. I was spun completely around and it was a miracle that I didn't hit the middle concrete barrier. I was 8 months pregnant at the time and behind my car seat was completely missing. Accidents happen to 'good drivers' everyday.
26-06-2012 10:22 #80Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2008
Actually yeah thats another thing I used to stress over- I forgot to mention! Everyone saying to leave him, the biggest thing I thought was, if we broke up, I'd have NO control AT ALL over what he was doing when the kids went to his place for weekends etc. I decided I'd rather have him close by so I could at least keep an eye on him, than to hand them over to him every weekend and have no idea what he was doing.
OP it sounds like the message might be getting through, I really hope so for your sake, because I know he really probably loves his DD and doesn't want to put her life in danger. When I have a go at my hubby for being irresponsible/putting the kids in danger/exposing them to things they shouldn't be exposed to (like drunk idiots at my house), he gets really hurt and says 'how dare you imply that I don't love my kids, I'd do ANYTHING for them, I'd give my life for them' etc etc. To which I have had to explain over and over again- 'You say you would die for them- that will probably never happen, you will never have to die for them and they don't want you to die anyway. You say you'd do ANYTHING, yet you are not actually doing ANYTHING. Its the little things that count, not the big hypothetical heroic things that will never happen!"
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