You are his wife he should want to share birthdays with you. I notice you are ttc, could he be rebelling because he is not ready to be a dad? I would be having a long hard think if this is the man I want to have children with. If you do, would some marriage counseling help, as I sense there is more to this that one night out.
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24-06-2012 09:18 #11Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2010
24-06-2012 09:19 #12
He should be thankful he has a awesome girl like you!!! Nothing infuriates me more then when you give and give to them and they throw it at you like that!!
24-06-2012 09:25 #13
Omg this is awful for you.
Even if a woman is ok with being at a strip club doesn't negate the need for a level of reassurance, respect and sensitivity.
Your man sounds like he turned into a rude turd that night. I'd be having a stern word with him and calling him on his behaviour.
24-06-2012 10:29 #14
So to clarify, he's your husband so he's made a commitment to love and cherrish you. You go to the trouble or organising his friends to fly in from interstate and have dinner and probably other things organised and he excludes you and comments that you've overstepped the boundaries? Since when was doing something really nice and going out of your way to organise a party for your spouse overstepping the boundaries, yet going to a strip club and having a private lap dance in front of your wife not?
I'm assuming he's just turned 30 or 40? He ignores and scorns you? You end up in a strip clup (which again I would have serious issues with my DH going to such a place but your choice) and has a private lap dance where he actively ogles a stripper and scorns you?
To top it off you are chastised for speaking to any other blokes? I'm sorry but that just does not sound like a healthy relationship.
Would I be mad? No, I'd be livid, upset, furious and deeply, deeply hurt. I'm sorry but that does not sound like a loving partnership to me. Is this in character of him or not?
I like the idea of asking him how he would feel and don't be fobbed off by saying "but I was drunk at the time". There is a very apt saying "in vino veritas" which translates to "in wine there is truth". I'd ask him straight out "do you want a marriage with me because you acted like you didn't want one". Sorry, I know that's really blunt but I was married for 7 years to a bloke that put me second and treated my like cr@p. I wish I'd had been blunt and brutaley honest with not just him but myself years before I left him.
Last edited by Busy-Bee; 24-06-2012 at 12:56.
24-06-2012 10:58 #15
Hugs. Have you asked what he is mad at you for?
I wouldn't be okay with a strip club at all.
24-06-2012 11:39 #16
That is awful behaviour from your partner.
I'm not trying to be rude but you really need to tell him this is unacceptable and put a stop to this behaviour right now. I would really like to know why you didn't pull him up on this cr@ppy behaviour on the night. Because you need to stand up for yourself hun. If you don't he'll continue to treat you like this. And really, I'd be furious at him. He has f&cked up and needs to make it up to you big time. Tell him what you feel. Please.
24-06-2012 11:50 #17Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2011
wow, to me that is unacceptable on his part.
24-06-2012 12:03 #18
sorry to sound frank but that is discusting!!! My partner is not perfect but would never treat me that way. I personally think a private lapdance is out of the question anyway!!!! how would he like some model looking bloke smooching over you???? I know that answer to that one already! He sound immature and a bit of a game playing type which is a shocking trait to have. Has this sort of thing happened before? have you been together long?
24-06-2012 12:47 #19
I'm sorry your husband is treating you so badly.
I would be asking some serious questions about my marriage if my husband openly showed such hostility and disregard for me.
After going to such effort for his birthday, I would expect that he should have been grateful, not to be treating you like garbage.
24-06-2012 14:22 #20
Sorry to hear you've been treated like this It is really disrespectful to treat you this way rather then just come out and say why he is upset (is he jealous that you talked to his friends behind his back, he seems to be the type to think that was out of bounds, even if you were just trying to organise a nice birthday weekend for him). That's not to say you did anything wrong. You did a lovely thing for his birthday and he should be ashamed of his behaviour.
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