This weekend I organised for my DHs best friends fo travel from interstate to celebrate his birthday weekend with him as it was a milestone.
I organised a dinner out and drinks afterwards. Throughout the night I felt as though he was excluding me from the whole goings on in the evening. At one point making a remark to my female friend that I felt overstepped the boundary of where their relationship should be.
Afterwards we went out on the town and towards the end of the night we ended up in a strip club. (this wasnt a massive issue for me as we have been before as a couple). I stayed back with my friend as she wanted food and my DH and his friend went on with one of his friends staying behind woth me. We followed a short time later and upon arrival at this club he acknowledged the two people I was with and looked straight through me like I didnt exist. They had one of the dancers sitting with them and talking to them.
I did not feel particularly inclined to sit through the personal dance and neither did the two people I was with so we went to play pool. When I went to the bar for a drink he was having a personal dance and he looked at me with what could only be described as hatred or contempt and it also felt as though he was tdying to rub my face on the fact that my body is nowhere near as good as hers. He was almost drooling at the body parts in his face. The way he was looking at her body was a way he has never looked at me.
I not only felt low but jealous and couldnt help but wonder how he would feel in the same situation. I know that he gets incredibly jealous if I even talk to men in a social environment.
I left straight after this as with all the events of the night and afternoon I felt incredibly hurt.
Have I overreacted or am I not alone with this or a similar situation?
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24-06-2012 04:21 #1
Partners and jealousy issues. I really need help :(
24-06-2012 05:40 #2
You have not over reacted, best advice I can offer is to talk to him, tell him exactly how you feel.
Has he received a private lap dance with you there before?
24-06-2012 05:44 #3wishes she was a glow worm. A glow worm's never glum, 'cos how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out of your bum?
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im sorry your going thro this, like waterlily said talk to him and tell him how you feel, and also ask why he was acting like that
24-06-2012 06:38 #4
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24-06-2012 06:46 #5Senior Member
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I would be livid, and extremely hurt. Your feelings are absolutely justified.
I think you both need to have a talk about boundaries in your relationship and that you feel he has overstepped them (which IMO he has!).
Let him know how this has effected your confidence.
I can see why you left but I would've had to confront right then and there, I would've been so angry.
I have no issues with strip clubs (luckily DF thinks you should only go if you are single) but to me what he did was disrespectful.
Hope you can sort it out OP.
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24-06-2012 06:59 #6
I'd be feeling pretty low if that happened to me Do you have any idea why he was ignoring you? Did you have a fight earlier that day? Just trying to get my head around his behavior.
He is pretty lucky you are okay with strip clubs, many women wouldn't be comfortable letting him even go to one! To rub it in your face when he was getting the private dance is a hurtful slap in the face.
Why does he want to upset you? That's what I'd be asking him. Demand an explanation from him for behaving so nasty
24-06-2012 07:03 #7
I don't think you over reacted. It sounds like he had some issue with the whole thing but rather than speak up he behaved like a naughty child. I'd be having a very upfront, serious conversation with him if i were you. Good luck (hugs).
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24-06-2012 07:18 #8
I would be furious. Strip clubs go against every moral in my body but you are ok with it which is your prerogative. But to ignore you, get a private dance while ogling this girl and giving you scornful looks.... he's acting like an 18 yo kid.
You go to all this trouble for his bday and you get ignored and he gets a private lap dance?
I would be asking him how he would feel if he organised transport for your friend for your bday came along to celebrate with you and you totally ignored him, ended up getting an up close and personal lap dance from a naked guy and you were scornful towards him... how would he feel? I find my DH doesn't get concepts of how I'm feeling until I switch the situation around and frame it in terms of 'if I did this how would you feel?'
24-06-2012 07:37 #9
You aren't overreacting but I'm confused why he would be acting like that. Did you talk to him about why? I'd be furious too.
24-06-2012 07:43 #10
Not overreacting at all IMO (although he will probably say you are)
I would be so sad to see my husband like that with another woman it would just break my heart I have nothing against strip clubs but the way your explaining that he did that is just wrong.
Hope he apologizes very soon!
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