I'm just after some tips on how to wean a very 'addicted' almost 19mo off breastfeeding. We successfully night weaned a couple of months ago thanks to sleep school but during the day he still looks to feeding for comfort. He goes to daycare 3 days a week and is fine without, he has also stayed at my parents overnight on occasion and was happy to take a bottle. When I pick him up from daycare though it's the first thing he wants even if he has eaten well all day. I really think it's like a comforter for him. I have to say I am no longer enjoying feeding anymore because of this and it is leaving me with a sour taste in my mouth (so to speak) that I will seriously not consider BFing another baby. He tantrums so much if I say no, it's unbearable and sad to see. Please how can we break this habit? I really don't want to do it anymore
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23-06-2012 04:29 #1
23-06-2012 07:50 #2
We went through that at the same age. Has knobs on it. I basically started setting boundaries, as I would with any other unacceptable behavior. I have always demand fed but decided to take the reigns and decide when she fed, and if she asked I wouldnt say no I would tell her when her next feed was eg yes you can have a feed at bed time. Yes she chucked a few Wobblies over it, but if she was chucking a wobbly to get ice cream would I give it to her? No. She too is at daycare 3 days and I would always give her a feed on pick up as she missed me a lot and that was her way of reconnecting. A month or so ago I started bringing a banana which she eats in the car on the way home and she stopped asking for that feed. Now (27 months) she really only has a feed morning and one other time in the day and that's it. If we were going out I would also forewarn her 'no boobie at playgroup today, but you can have one as soon as we get home'. I started enjoying it again... That addictive phase is hard but I think more about learning control and boundaries - tantrums are never the way to get what you want, and it's not always practical to feed every 30mins!!!
23-06-2012 19:10 #3
Thanks so much for replying yes I do try and distract with food and sometimes it works however most of the time it doesn't. I agree with you on saying 'no' as I would to any other behaviour, it's just hard as I know it's his comfort.
23-06-2012 19:25 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2011
I agree totally with purplecat. Take the reins and stand your ground. I know hearing them scream breaks your heart as I know it does mine just remember it won't last forever. As soon as they realise they won't get what they want by screaming the time they do it shortens. I had it with his dummy. He got so bad I was up all night putting it back in his mouth and constantly without sleep. He would scream the house down demanding it and I would hand it over. One day I just had enough and took them all and hid them. He screamed and screamed and no comfort helped but he finally slowly gave up and now he and I are great and always rested and he dosn't even get upset going to bed at all so in the end it was worth it. I almost thought I would give in a few times but I stuck it out and am a whole lot better for it now.
Good luck with however you decide to go about it.
23-06-2012 19:51 #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
Remember to replace the feeds with other comforting activity - cuddles, stories, baby-wearing - whatever suits you too
23-06-2012 20:24 #6
Thanks guys! Yes lulululu, I am very keen to still have lots of cuddles and special time together, just not feeding! I would cuddle him all day if he let me
So it looks like rough days ahead then...
23-06-2012 20:26 #7
Sorry I don't have any advice as I am still feeding my 25 month old. I am now limiting feeding to only when we are in bed. Other than that I am hoping she stops on her own in the not to distant future.
24-06-2012 06:57 #8Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2010
i found it easier to choose times when i was happy to feed (after lunch, after dinner) so then i could say we will do something else now, you can have a feed after dinner. so then i wasn't just saying no, and she knows when she can have a feed.
next step is to cut out these feeds one at a time, generally by distraction.
if your after daycare one is important to her, you might want to keep that one for now and reduce the others. and then slowly increase the time from picking her up to feeding her. i like the banana in the car idea above.
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