I hope this is in the right section
I am still a little undecided if I want another baby . Hubby and I had always decided on 2 maybe 3 kids. He is happy with 2, I am unsure. We have a son who will be 3 and a daughter who will be 1 next month. Although I am only 28, hubby is 38 and said that if we did have a 3rd it had to be done and dusted by the time he turned 40 (Jan 2014).
I have days where I could cry thinking of only having the 2 kids followed by days where I think "what was I thinking". I would never create a whoopsie baby so it would only happen if hubby and I can agree on going back for 3rds although when I had a pregnancy scare earlier this month he wasn't worried if it turned out I was.
I would never in a million years contemplate 4 pregnancies as 3 would be enough (although I fully understand the potential for twins). I fully understand that this would be it and if something happened whereby I needed a c-section I would happily get my tubes tied while on the table.
I think the thing I would miss most isn't pregnancy (it seriously sucks for me!) but I do enjoy having a new baby and very much love breastfeeding (hence my daughter isn't even close to being weaned and still on 6 feeds a day).
So does this desire ever disappear? Am I just longing for another baby because it is unlikely we'll have another? I feel somedays I could easily convince hubby into having another but on other days I can't even convince myself . I have no idea so any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks in advance
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21-06-2012 16:28 #1Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
How do you know when your family is finished?
21-06-2012 17:49 #2
To me it sounds as if you both wouldnt hate the idea of a third. my DP doesnt want anymore kids but I'm not sure like you. I always wanted more than 2 but in all reality we are both greatful for the 2 we have. I am having similar feelings to the ones you describe. We have decided that when dd2 is older we will look into fostering. Its a compromise that makes us both happy.
I know I am fine with not having any more and I feel lik that is because I have 2 DD's who are happy and healthy. I think of people who have trouble having any at all and any urges to have more go away. Thats how I know.
21-06-2012 17:56 #3
For me the "desire" to have kids has never happened.. I have no desire to have any more kids.. We have 1 son and love him to bits but Yeh... No more for us thanks :-)
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21-06-2012 18:10 #4
21-06-2012 18:59 #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2010
You just know!
I got clucky again around the time my son (2nd bub) turned one ut it has definatly passed for me! I cant imagine being preg again and i definately cant image having another child.
Since getting my life back (losing the baby weight, going back to work and starting my own business i can without a doubt say IM DONE HAVEING KIDS!!!
I love the fact that our life as a family can start, camping, trips away and seeing my kids grow up. I know in myself i could never handle a 3rd.
Sounds to me like you need another interest. Once i stopped focusing on pregnancy and babies and focused on my work and business the desire for another baby just disapeared. I even see other people with new babies and i dont want one!
21-06-2012 19:19 #6
I think it goes away when you have the amount you truly want. I 'settled' at two but in my heart knew I wanted one more. Now Im about to have my 3rd and am truly done and looking to get tubes tied. Never have been able to imagine 4 and I am certain I wouldnt want to have 4. I love big families but 3 was my magic number..
I think if deep down yore not done it will continue to haunt you until you are
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22-06-2012 01:05 #7
Sounds like you and your OH would like a third - or at least don't hate the idea.
We have two boys and that is it for us. Although I am a little sad I'll never be pregnant again (I love it!) I know
I don't want any more kids. The thought of a third scares me a little!!
22-06-2012 10:38 #8Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
22-06-2012 10:49 #9
I think you know when you are finished, when the thought of another makes you weak at the knees with fear and dread lol
22-06-2012 10:57 #10
My kids are almost exactly the same age as yours and same flavour combos We both regularly toy with the idea of having a third but not quite yet. I just don't feel we are a complete family iykwim? Room for one more at the inn yet
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