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  1. #51
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    its very much alive in our little town.

  2. #52
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    I would be weirded out if a man stood when I did. I don't find it to be good manners I find it to be odd. I'd wonder if he had decided to go somewhere too tbh. Lol.

    Men still fall over themselves to help women though. I've noticed it a lot since i have lost weight. Men are always thinking I must be too much of a delicate flower to do anything myself and keep trying to carry stuff for me of open doors or whatever. It's sweet... But kind of strange too.

    I am a feminist but I'm also okay with courtesy. Helping me because I'm struggling isn't anti feminist. It's courteous and kind. Doing something for me because I have a vagina is a bit strange but in a weird way that I feel kind of guilty about, I enjoy men treating me like that because it makes me feel very girly and feminine.

    I think many people are just selfish these days. Perhaps because many strangers will abuse you if you try to be nice. I know fear of their reaction sometimes stops me from doing things I want to to help them.

  3. #53
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    Well you wanted equality, don't complain when you're not treated like you deserve better than others.

    A bit funny really; "treat us the same as men!....but better! Then it will all be equal!"

  4. #54
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    I think it's easy to misconstrue a simple gesture these days.

    If a man pulls a chair out for me to sit, I don't immediately think 'OMG you chauvinistic pr!ck!". I tend to think he is just trying to be polite. I also don't think he believes me to be too weak or 'dainty' to do it for myself.
    However if he then told me to shut up and not speak because I'm just a woman, then sure, he'd fall into the chauvinist pig category. There's a big difference between those two things though.

    I can't really understand how anyone could be offended by someone holding a door open for them, or pulling out a chair? I tend to see it more as social or cultural etiquette rather than a feminist/sexist issue.

    It's a bit sad to live in a world where someone might be considered offensive if they extend an innocuous gesture out of kindness.

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  6. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by ToughLove View Post
    Well you wanted equality, don't complain when you're not treated like you deserve better than others.

    A bit funny really; "treat us the same as men!....but better! Then it will all be equal!"
    I think you'll find it's the feminists who say they do NOT want chivalry

    I don't want to be treated better than men, I want no special treatment. I want no medieval customs. I just want everyone to be thoughtful of others regardless of.. well, anything really.

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  8. #56
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    In my circle of family and friends you would say that chivarly is not dead but definitely has morphed into good manners. The menfolk in my family will always - carry the groceries/bags into the house and I just walk in with the baby/handbag. open doors, let me sit down first at restaurants/cafes, go to the bar and buy the drinks (even if i've given them the money), walk me out to the car if visiting, offer seats on public transport etc.

    My dh's family are not of this viewpoint and it took me awhile to get used to the difference but DH has seen how my brother/dad/father do stuff and has slowly started to do the above but often forgets until in their company.

    Each family is different but I do like being treated like I'm precious. Like my 90yo grandfather walking me out to my car cos it was on the street and it was dark. If it makes the do-er happy then why not.

  9. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by Izzys Mummy View Post
    In my circle of family and friends you would say that chivarly is not dead but definitely has morphed into good manners. The menfolk in my family will always - carry the groceries/bags into the house and I just walk in with the baby/handbag. open doors, let me sit down first at restaurants/cafes, go to the bar and buy the drinks (even if i've given them the money), walk me out to the car if visiting, offer seats on public transport etc.

    My dh's family are not of this viewpoint and it took me awhile to get used to the difference but DH has seen how my brother/dad/father do stuff and has slowly started to do the above but often forgets until in their company.

    Each family is different but I do like being treated like I'm precious. Like my 90yo grandfather walking me out to my car cos it was on the street and it was dark. If it makes the do-er happy then why not.
    DHs grandfather get upset if I do 'mens jobs' like wood or lifting livestock. Im pregnant, but more able than he, but its not 'right' in his eyes.

  10. #58
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    It rarely happens, but I really appreciate it if a man stands for me on the bus. I think it's sweet. I would never be offended by anything like that.

    I think it's awful that people get offended by courteous gestures. I can understand why some men are afraid or embarrassed to stand up, or open doors, or pull out chairs, etc.

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