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  1. #1
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    Default Help for fathers?

    I have a baby who's nearly 4 months old. She can be a hand full with not knowing what's wrong. She gets wind an dosnt sleep that easy.
    My partner is taking it really hard and it's affecting everyone his attitude. I know he loves our baby but I think he wishes now we never had one with all the work involved.
    Is there help for fathers out there?

  2. #2
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    i know there are men's groups that your local gp or self help organisations can put you on to.
    it is such an adjustment, some men find it really hard. we have had 9 months to get ready but until the baby comes, sometimes it doesn't really sink in for them.
    my hubby went off the rails a little when our son was born. we had a few months in that first year where the relationship was very hard work.
    there are so many factors - increased responsibility, stress about $$, becoming a father, feeling like a third wheel as mum and baby bond etc.
    just talk with him, let him know that what he is feeling is completely normal and that in time it should all fall into place. if not, perhaps see your gp and talk about some counselling, men's groups or even a short course of anti-depressants.
    it's so nice you are worried about him, i hope you are doing okay too.

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    Quote Originally Posted by halloweendee View Post
    we have had 9 months to get ready but until the baby comes, sometimes it doesn't really sink in for them.
    Exactly this!

    I think it tends to be more difficult for men coz they want to "fix things" and u can't wen u don't know what is wrong.. My hubby was the same, he'd get so upset and frustrated when DD would cry and cry (she had colic and reflux) and sometimes he would get mad and we'd have awful fights. He still gets that way a little when DD is sick or upset now (at 20 months) and he doesn't now what to do.. I think mums are just built to handle it better.

    I just tried to take bub off his hands as much as I could when things were difficult, and made him get time out if I saw he was getting too stressed.. But I had help from my mum at the worst times, I wouldn't recommend u take too much on your own shoulders if u don't have the support...

    Maybe speaking with a counsellor or family therapist might help him? If he's willing to go that is. Or otherwise, does he have friends who are dads that can advise him?


 

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