I’m going to say no as well. It would be nice if someone offered, but I sort of believe in doing things your own way. We’ve decided that when we have kids, we will put money away for them, but wont me paying off a mortgage for them. We’ll have money to pay off their uni fees, or help them buy a car (maybe match what they saved already, something like that). Or if they wanted to do a year exchange overseas, or something like that.
We are one of only a few couples we know, that didn’t have their parents give them a house deposit. I’m talking like 70-100k. A lot of them were very frivolous in their 20s because they knew they had the house deposit already. We’ve worked for everything we’ve got, and I think for us personally, it’s better that way. A lot our friends (we’re in our 30s) have parents who will pay for them to go on holidays, pay for a bathroom renovation. Personally, we won’t do that for our kids, even if we do have the money.
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19-06-2012 09:40 #51
19-06-2012 09:42 #52Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2009
It's a moot point, as we couldn't afford it without risking our own future financial stability (say 2 children x $500k each mortgages = $1 million). We just won't ever have a million dollars to give. Maybe at the time of our deaths.
When they are older, I would happy to help out with a house deposit. I would get a loan agreement back from them, though, so I could claw the money back if the relationship between my child and the partner went south or they were going to sell it and squander the money.
I would like to see them work hard, and not take things for granted though. We live very simply - rundown house, one 14yo car between us, old appliances and furniture, worked our way through uni. I have no interest in propping them up to live an over consumer lifestyle. I would rather give the money to somebody who needs it.
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19-06-2012 09:59 #53-
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
Not everyone who has been helped live OTT lifestyles and are spoilt brats who expect more more more. There are people out there who are responsible with their money and still work for money for bills and such. It's all in how you have been raised around money and taught how to manage your money.
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19-06-2012 10:06 #54Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
I do agree with that Bell&Bug - DP has received a helping hand from his parents with a fair chunk of cash. We haven't even spent it and we do appreciate it.
I just really like the way I was raised. Hence why I probably wouldn't pay off a mortgage for family. If I could help with a deposit or education or health insurance, heck yeah. Entire house, probably not. I get extreme satisfaction from earning my own things and I'd like my children to have the same experience.
19-06-2012 10:12 #55
I’m not saying that people don’t appreciate financial help at all. I’m saying that in my personal opinion, from the couples i know, the ones that have been given large amounts of money by their parents, don’t know how hard it is to save up for a house deposit. Of course that is not typical at all and not to say that everyone is like that, it’s just my own experience. We again, personally, saved up for our cars, house, wedding ourselves and never took money when it was offered and it makes us feel that we’ve done it all on our own. So we would want to encourage our kids to do the same.
19-06-2012 10:36 #56
My first thought was no, but then I think about all the times I've thought about winning the lotto and paying off families mortgages has always been something id do lol
Sooo I think if they had been paying it off for a few years and would really benefit from not having a mortgage - eg my daughter could quit work & stay at home with children etc then I would pay it off.
19-06-2012 10:40 #57
I"d probably offer to loan the money interest free or something, but not to just pay it outright.
I don't like the idea of giving money at all.
But MIL is bizarre to have mentioned it at all! Why do that. It's like going hey, did you know I have a great big bar of chocolate in the fridge, but you can't have any.
19-06-2012 10:46 #58
If I won big on lotto? Yes.
If it would affect my retirement? No.
If I had the money and it wouldn't affect me? Not sure. I might pay off a chunk, but not sure about paying it off completely.
But I will help the kids get a car, give them some money towards a house deposit etc.
I also hope that by the time they reach that age we will have some form of trust or income that will give them a hopefully decent sum every year. This might allow DD/DIL to stay home with kids if they want, or chunk off mortgage, or travel.
19-06-2012 10:57 #59
If I had the money to help someone (friends, family, my kids etc) that really needed it (like if I was a millionaire or something) then yes I would. If it was just something like they wanted a new car then no, but if it was something more important like medical bills or whatever then yes.
19-06-2012 11:16 #60
hmmmm my dh and I never got any help financially when we started out and nor did we expect to. We didn't even get the first home owners grant. We saved up our deposit and bought our first home on our own!
But we have investment properties for our kids future, we want to ensure our kids get a helping hand because it will be alot harder and more expensive in those years to come for them but they won't be handed everything on silver platter. They will just have a good start. Until we die of course, then they will get everything!
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