As the title sugests; How do you discipline your child/ren?
My DS isnt old enough to be disciplined yet as he is only 6 months old so i havent been down that path yet. I personally dont want to smack as i was smacked as a child and it had a negative effect on me, so i would like to hear how others discipline their kids?
Naughty corner? If so how long for?
Take away their favourite toy?
Thanks in advance
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18-06-2012 12:39 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
*Spin off* How do you discipline your kiddies?
18-06-2012 12:52 #2
DS is 13 months and just starting to get in to everything!
We try saying in a firm voice 'no' or. 'don't touch' then we move him away from the object and try and distract him with something suitable.
I will admit I have smacked him maybe four or five times before, on the hand, but that was in freak out moments where I've had to dive to get him away from something!
18-06-2012 13:03 #3
Mine are only 26 and 14 months old so we have no discipline here.
We guide them and keep them safe by watching them properly, especially in dangerous areas.
I don't plan to discipline them as children, I'll correct them and explain natural consequences to them, tell them why we do things like this etc... If they're being unreasonable I will take them to their bedroom and give them the option to talk now or later.
As teenagers they'll hopefully understand natural consequences, how to make good choices and how to take responsibility for their mistakes.
18-06-2012 13:06 #4-
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
First I look at what exactly may be causing my children to play up, is is hunger? Boredom? Are they feeling unwell?
If my 4 year old is playing up, it's usually because she is feeling overwhelmed so I'll ask her to go to her room to read a book or compose herself. It's not time out, it's not a punishment, it's her space that no one can intrude on when she needs some space away from her sister. Once she is ready, we will talk about why she was acting the way she was, how she was and is feeling etc, and ways she/we can avoid that sort of thing happening again. She is really good with her words and has a very good understanding of feelings.
My nearly 2 year old is at the tantrum stage, so I will put her somewhere safe (usually her cot) so she can let her emotions out. Once I can hear that she has calmed a bit, I'll get her out and cuddle her while I talk to her about feelings and stuff like that. She understands happy and sad now so if someone is sad she will cuddle them, just like I do when she is sad.
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18-06-2012 13:23 #5-
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Home, where my life lies waiting, silently, for me.
i role model acceptable behaviour
positive reinforcement ('lovely gentle touching sweetheart!')
emotion coach ('i see that you are cross, but we are gentle with people')
encourage decision making ('mummy is eating. you can sit here nicely with me, and eat properly, or go and play, if you are finished')
in that order
18-06-2012 13:24 #6
I try to use 123 magic but I'm finding it hard at the moment to enforce the staying I time out thing.
18-06-2012 13:47 #7
Firstly we use all the conservative methods to avoid a problem occuring in the first place as much as possible i.e. trying to address any underlying issues (boredom, tiredness etc) and use tactics to manage behaviour rather than correct. You know: giving toddlers choices between two undesirable things (shower or bath? toilet now or after dessert?), and countdowns before activities change etc, anticipating difficult times and problems that may arise.
If that fails and more proactive discipline is required then we use a version of 1,2,3 magic with a "timeout/naughty chair" as the consequence or, (rare situations when timeout is not applicable), a smack on the hand as consequence.
18-06-2012 13:57 #8
We are finding ds 4yrs going through a non compliant stage at the moment which is quite challenging. Time out in his room is usually how we go and if all else fails a smack on the thigh is given and does pull him into line. This week though we have implemented taking away special things and playdates. Will see how that goes!
18-06-2012 14:25 #9
I've tried all sorts of things over the years, the two things that have worked best for DD (who is now 5) are:
1. If I want her to stop something I count backwards from 5 and if she hasn't stopped by 1 then there is some consequence (I don't know what, as for some miraculous reason she always responds)
2. If she does something that she knows is wrong and bypasses a warning (for example kicking/hurting someone) I choose a consequence that I know will have an impact - eg going home straight away, no TV in the afternoon, no playing on my iphone for a week etc.
Otherwise I talk to her about what she is doing, why she is doing it, why it is wrong etc etc. The naughty spot never worked as she thought it was a game...!
18-06-2012 14:43 #10Bubhub Ambassador - tongue in cheek
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
We do everything but smack
DDs main 'Offenses' are 1. Not listening/ignoring us, 2.hitting, & 3. Whinging (and I don't mean crying because she's sad, I mean following us around screaming & yelling because she's cranky)
For the first 2 she gets time out (playpen in the loungeroom for 2 mins)
If we are out she gets timeout in the strapped in her car seat for 2 mins (door open, me beside car)
If car is too far away she gets 'held' for about a min (on my lap, facing away, with my arms wrapped around her to restrain her).
For the last one she gets things taken off her (usually her dummy or a toy) and she has to do 'good girl things' to get them back.
Eg. She behaved terribly on the bus this morning (kicking the chair infront, pulling laddies hair & crawling under the seats) I tried distracting & asking nicely but it didn't work, she got a warning & still ignored me, so she got time out on my lap.
We got off the bus & she played up the whole way home.
We got home & she got timeout in the pen.
I explained to why she was in there, & to get out she had to follow my instructions which she did (hold my hand, sit down etc)
Then she wanted a dummy & since shed been misbehaving she had to do a 'good girl' thing to get them.
She wiped her table, put her shoes away, socks in the laundry & toys in her room & got one.
I find taking things away & making her do good girl things to get them back works SO much better. But she has to be holding something she likes for that one to work.
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