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19-06-2012 20:42 #221Senior Member
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- Dec 2010
19-06-2012 20:45 #222
Now she never hurt them, she loves them and genuinely seemed to think she was doing the right thing. she wasnt even angry. she was just going through the motions of disciplining her kids.
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19-06-2012 20:50 #223
what has peadophilia got to do with the way I discipline my child? seriously.... your way off here!
19-06-2012 21:01 #224
19-06-2012 21:01 #225Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
I can tell you exactly where that comes from, and you can read my previous post as well.
I worry that if we open the doors to "It's MY child, I will discipline them, INCLUDING hitting them, as I see fit, there isn't a cursed thing the law can or SHOULD be able to do to stop me" it opens the flood gates to children being posessions and NOT being protected, based on the fact that they "belong" to parents. It's a very very deep slippery slope, once that sort of mentality starts and can be used to justify anything. YOU might smack. What about John down the road who takes to his kids with a belt/plank of wood and breaks bones? He can use the same excuse "It's MY child. I was disciplining them as I see fit."
It can also be applied to paedophelia, when a father or mother sexually abuses their own kids. "It's my child. I can do what I want, as I see fit." Unfortunately, there are twisted people in the world who use this reasoning. I'd rather make life that little bit harder for parents, and make sure kids are protected from things like that, than let people who might smack the "right" way(if there is such a way, no one seems to have written back on my experiment, so I'm not sure) continue on with it under the guise of "well, my kid, how I do it is how I do it. Too bad for anyone else who takes that too far, I feel bad for the kids but meh, I want the right to discipline how I see fit. Some people are just gonna have to suffer for that."
20-06-2012 00:19 #226
my gosh, it's taken ages to get to the end of this thread ~ I read a page and 2 more appear when I get to the end!
Kimberleygal ~ I agree with PP about your signature. Smacking is not at all likely to stop your kids going to jail. If you read Ulysees posts, you may see that in fact they bacome hardened to this, are more likely to perpetrate the behaviour they see their caregivers meteing out, and are in fact, possibly more likely to do something wrong by society/'end up in jail' etc.
I think this spanking thing is about powerplay and the 'illusion of control.' That most people want power in some way, and many want control of their world or feel out of control in this world. I think this is what motivated my father ~ and his form of discipline really did spiral into abuse.
My partner every now and then talks about the 'rule of thumb.' The rule of thumb is that it was legal to hit your wife with any stick thinner than your thumb. He claims this was legal till fairly recently in Tassie (not sure about that, myself)! I'm glad our society changes it's ways from time to time ~ usually takes a generation or so.
It seems those who were spanked go one of two ways ~ they either use it as discipline, or totally refuse to go there and perpetuate what was done to them as a child. I'm really interested in those who weren't smacked as kids and why they choose this as a method of discipline for their children? Cheers. Not judging. Just interested.
20-06-2012 09:45 #227
20-06-2012 09:50 #228
20-06-2012 09:56 #229
18-08-2012 23:05 #230
This articles comes from US parenting site 'What to Expect' ~ posted here for those who think spanking of children is benign and has no repercussions.
Spanking a Tot Can Make Him Aggressive in Kindergarten
Need another reason to spare the rod when it comes to disciplining your child? While a swift whack to your misbehaving tot’s tush may net immediate results (aka compliance and good behavior), it’s bad news in the long run. A study published in the latest issue of the journal Pediatrics has found that 3-year-old children whose moms and dads spank them are much more likely to be aggressive themselves at age five (and as they get older). That means they’re more likely to engage in destructive and disobedient behavior, be a bully, or be violent themselves by the time they’re ready for kindergarten.
Sounds like something you’ve heard before? You’re right -- there have been many other studies in the past that have shown a link between spanking and aggressive behavior. But for the first time ever, researchers in this study controlled for other risk factors (like parental neglect, drug or alcohol use by the mom, maternal stress or depression, physical abuse, and so on) – giving this study and its results even more weight.
The American Academy of Pediatrics already strongly opposes “striking a child for any reason,” but more than one-quarter of the mothers surveyed in this study admitted to spanking their toddlers more than twice a month. Other surveys and polls have shown that a sizeable majority of adults think it’s okay to spank a child. But researchers and other experts agree: children imitate the behaviors their parents model for them. Parents who hit their children are modeling violent methods of dealing with conflict. When those children face their own conflicts with playmates or siblings, they’ll turn to the behaviors they’ve learned: violence and physical force. And not only does violence beget violence, but spanking also denies children the chance to learn alternative ways of dealing with anger and frustration.
So if you should never spank a child, what kinds of discipline measures can you impose when your toddler’s behavior is out of hand? Luckily, there are plenty of discipline technique for toddlers that you can try without raising your striking hand – techniques that can not only stop the offending behavior, but ones that can also help teach your tot impulse control, how to differentiate between right and wrong, and effective ways to manage difficult situations. Investing time now to teach your little one why a behavior is wrong and how to better handle frustration or a difficult situation will net the best long term results in the form of a better behaved child.
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