The first I believe had never been an approved method but the second is still regularly used in schools across the country even now and is seen as normal which gets my hackles up every time I think about it.
So I understand the point of view, particularly when it comes from the people who've suffered miss-use of smacking.
I don't have any physical scars, but I have quite a few mental ones thanks to a couple of "well meaning" teachers in primary school.
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18-06-2012 11:35 #111
18-06-2012 11:41 #112
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18-06-2012 14:08 #113
hers&hers can i ask a serious question. why do you feel the need to use a wooden spoon or branch? is it because a weapon inflicts more pain? or is there another reason?
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18-06-2012 14:11 #114Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
Hope that makes sense, and I could be wrong, but this is my understanding. The same method is also used in training dogs, etc.
18-06-2012 14:28 #115
18-06-2012 14:45 #116
I also agree with giving the child choices. If we are talking about kids that run then as someone else said, the choice is walk and hold my hand or be carried or go in the stroller/trolly. If my DS is playing up at bedtime reading the books, the choice is read the books then go to bed or go straight to bed. He knows how to take the compromise and he gets to make the choice. I have found that with my DS that as soon as I try to control him, his behaviour is worse. Choices work well for us.
18-06-2012 15:05 #117
Yes my parents were way OTT with smacking. To the point where I will never forgive my mother for what she did to me and my siblings. She won't acknowledge that she was in the wrong.
Her thing is that we were nasty terrible children. (she doesn't seem to realise that children are a product of their parents, and my parents were physically, emotionally and verbally abusive and defiant of each other for as long as I can remember)
My dad has been to councelling and also spoken with us regarding it, taken our feelings into consideration and apologised for his words and actions.
However, I believe using anything other than an open hand to smack a child is just not on.
I do smack DD. She is 2, with an ipen hand on a nappied bum after many many warnings, trying to talk her out of it and other things. Very rarely do I have to smack her. She has been taught from a very young age what is and isn't acceptable behaviour or actions in my eyes.
She still runs up to me and hugs me all through the day, says she loves me and has never once been scared of me in any way.
I do believe in smacking. My DD is very stubborn and headstrong, but I am very conscious of when I am angry and will never smack out of anger. She understands that a smack is for doing something naughty.
18-06-2012 15:31 #118-
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
I don't even remember why I got smacked, just that I got smacked, and I can remember every time that I got smacked. And it hurt. I remember one time having a welt on my chest after my mother lashed out at me.
18-06-2012 15:35 #119
Here's a thought, how about people just don't smack at all? There is no line, there shouldn't be line. It should be illegal. Its abuse, plain and simple.
And if you really want to sugar coat it and say "oh we do it responsibly and safe" then you are kidding yourself. There is no safe or appropriate way of smacking a child. Open, shut, soft, hard, on the bum on the leg. Its all abuse and if it were on anyone else other than a child it would be classed as assault.
Its completely illogical to use violence on a child to "teach" them a lesson.
Smacking is purely lazy parenting, and you can throw all the excuses my way, i have heard them all. I have been there and done that. There is ALWAYS another choice.
18-06-2012 15:36 #120
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