Ive just joined as I'm looking for advice on my situation.
My ex wants nothing to do with me or the baby and I'm feeling alone and sad for the baby and I. This is not how I'd pictured starting my own family, although I am over the moon to have a beautiful, healthy baby in December!
Is there anyone going through/ has been through the same thing, and how did you get through it?
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16-06-2012 22:42 #1
Pregnant and single, anyone else?
16-06-2012 22:46 #2
I was on my own from conception, and still alone now. It will be 10 years in November since I became pregnant and there is no contact with him or his family.
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16-06-2012 22:58 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2010
- Launceston, Tasmania
I knew when I found out I was pregnant that I would be doing it alone. DD is now 3yo and while the first 12 months was hard until it sunk in but we are both better off. I'm having DD2 on my own by chose. She will be here in about 3 weeks.
Best of luck with your beautiful bub. You will find lots of support here on the hub.
16-06-2012 23:09 #4
Suscribing because I would like to offer some support but must do this tomorrow as eyes are hanging out of head!
16-06-2012 23:13 #5
Thank you ladies
I had broken up with my ex 3 weeks before finding out I was pregnant as he didn't want to have kids or ever get married. So when I found out I was expecting I knew what his reaction would be. I still hope and wish he would come back, at least for his baby, but I'm not unrealistic!
16-06-2012 23:32 #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2010
- Launceston, Tasmania
my DD father and I were together for 5 years and in that time I listened to him talk about how he didn't get to see his daughter as often as he wanted thanks to her mother so I never imagined he would slam the door in my face so to speak when I found out I was pregnant. He even asked me to have an abortion. To be fair we were both under the impression from my dr that I couldn't have kids so weren't using anything to prevent it either. I did think about not having her for about five seconds but that was more about me not thinking I could cope. Best thing I ever did was have my daughter. I have learned some not very nice things about her biological father in the years since and am happy he chides to have no contact with us it's in her best interests I believe.
Go ahead and make a life for yourself and your bubba. If the miracle happens And he wants to be part of your lives down the track well great but at least you will have got on with things if it doesn't happen.
17-06-2012 11:09 #7
Wow thank you for sharing your story!!
He never really asked me to have an abortion, he simply expected it from me! He's had 4 previous girlfriends he's gotten pregnant and forced to have abortions and I guess his luck ran out with me. I would never have an abortion being 25 and perfectly capable of taking care of a child, never mind the fact that I've wanted nothing more than to be a mum all my life.
I will and am getting on with my life as I think you are completely right!! I need to focus on myself and the baby which is made so much easier by having moved in with my parents since I found out. I'm now in a different state and so can well and truly move on x
17-06-2012 13:08 #8
Welcome to the club! You are most certainly not alone. I have a three year old who was the result of some unwise behaviour on Australia Day 2008. I last saw her father when I told him I was pregnant, but although he is now living overseas he pays child support and has not made things difficult for us.
I had my ten month old daughter by myself using a donor. Much more straightforward!
We are very happy, and by the sounds of it you will be too. Wanting to be a mum is the only important thing. It's a big transition and even if you really want it, and ave all the support in the world, there will still be many challenges, but creating a family is the the most wonderful experience.
17-06-2012 13:12 #9
Hey, Ive just been through this and am still going through this, I wish I had done things with the clarity of hindsight!
FOB made my pregnancy absolute hell, I hung in there because I thought once the baby was born he would finally see things from my perspective (why I was so adamant in having her) Nope! he was worse and showed me absolutely no mercy, was more than happy to continually abuse me by text, trash my reputation and threaten me. My beautiful girl is now 5 months old Im seeing a lawyer on the 24/6, I think he is bat**it crazy and Im being very careful. I have had to face some pretty painful truths about this guy.
I wish I had just cut him dead at the beginning of the pregancy, I wish I hadnt given him chance after chance after chance to behave like a decent human being.
I wrote a super long post the other night reaching out for some help and guidance, it took me ages and then it dissapeared and I didnt have it in me to type out again lol. Rang a lawyer instead.
Im in the horrible position where he would like time with bub with no supervision, this person that has been spewing venom about her on and off since she was conceived. This will be over my dead body, I do not trust him on any level.
Think solely of yourself and your unborn baby, do not take any crap, Im glad you are in another state with your family, your baby will be the most glorious thing to ever happen to you.
Im sorry my post is so extreme, but you need to be cold where he is concerned, you wont be alone, you have family and friends that will be with you every step of the way, its an amazing journey and you deserve to enjoy it 100%.
You never know, he might step up but please dont count on it, map out your future as a pair (you and bub)
17-06-2012 13:18 #10
Wow! Thanks ladies, I really don't feel alone anymore. Its amazing how strong women can be, especially when faced with such a harsh reality.
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