It's a heartbreaking time under any circumstances but the clueless thing people say just make it that much worse. My personal hates are:
* Ohh well, you can just try again.
* It just wasn't meant to be.
* Maybe it's for the best, now you can try at a better time. (Said by MIL because we had just bought a house and moved when I was in the first trimester).
* Better this than a disabled baby (also MIL and I work with disabled children so this just made me want to hit her.)
* Are you sure you didn't have any idea? (because it was a missed misscarriage)
* I thought something wasnt right, I kinda thought something was wrong. I just didn't want to say anything. (well why say it now then? I told u so doesnt help)
* Here, do you want to hold this new little baby?
AARRGGHHH! Why do people not think before they open thier mouths?
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16-06-2012 15:31 #1
Awful/Stupid Things People Say When You Tell Them You Have Miscarried
The Following User Says Thank You to Tildy For This Useful Post:
16-06-2012 15:33 #2
When my mother had a miscarriage, her mother (my Grandmother) said to her, "why are you so upset, it wasn't even a baby yet"
Tildy, so sorry that people have said such hurtful things to you
16-06-2012 15:33 #3
All of the above, plus
Everything happens for a reason
Obviously it's your body's way/natures way of saying something wasn't right/something was wrong.
I'm sure there is more but you covered the worst of them
16-06-2012 15:38 #4
Oh and the icing on the cake when I had a chemical (had known I was pregnant for a week and confirmed by dr)....
"you probably weren't even pregnant"
16-06-2012 15:38 #5
16-06-2012 16:04 #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
People just don't seem to know what to say so they try and find a positive no matter how stupid Firstly sorry for your loss. Its been 17days since we said goodbye. People have said some hurtful things the top of my list are all said by my mum:
it wasn't even a baby
You weren't that far along why are you so upset
Better you lost it then having a disabled child
Better you lost it early then have a late mc
16-06-2012 16:08 #7
My Mum was with me at my first scan, and when the Dr said there was no heart beat she responded with "well at least it's not twins!". The Dr had no idea what to say. Mum didn't mean it in a bad way, she just didn't know what else to say.
16-06-2012 16:12 #8
My worst would be by the person doing the scan. She said "yer its dead." I started to cry and she followed up with "don't cry it was just a bit of skin and bone".
16-06-2012 16:14 #9
16-06-2012 16:16 #10-
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
You're young you can try again
Usually when this happens there is something wrong with the baby (erhm u know this how?)
Both said the next say by my discharge ob.
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