So ive been having issues with DH not pulling his weight around the house. He works mon-fri 8-4.30 and i work 3/4 nights a week 5-9pm (including weekends).
The thing is i feel like im intiltled to have him help me out around the house a bit. I not expecting him to do everything, just a few little things to help me out. Ive asked him constatly to pick his(and the kids) clothes up off the floor and put them in the laundry. Ive asked him to put the dishes away (NOT wash them) and ive asked him to put the folded laundry away. It seems on the weekend (when hes not working) hes great at these things but during the week is another story. The washing will sit there in the basket for weeks, the dishes dont get out away (he says he doesnt have time) and he leaves his clothes lying around all week.
Ill put the washing on his side of the couch, but it just gets pushed out of the way. I ask him to pick his clothes up and i get 'just wait a f**kn minute'. I ask him t putt he dishes away and he says 'im so busy with the kids at night i dont have time'.
Im so sad about this, i feel like im doing EVERYTHING. I look after the kids all day, do the washing, dishes, sweeping, mopping, i do ALL the shopping and even have to tidy up outside. On top of that i work 20 hous a week.
Its driving me crazy. We're supposed to be a team but it feels like its all me!
So it got me thinking. What EXACTLY does your DP do around the house?
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15-06-2012 08:59 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2010
What exactly does your husband/partner do around the house??
15-06-2012 09:04 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
My DP is a very hands on dad which helps me out alot! But he also pulls his weight around the house. He will mop after i have vacumed, he does the dishes, stacks them in the dishwasher - puts them away etc. Cleans out the fridge when needed. Mow's, washes the cars every now and again. And he does the washing some days aswell. I only have one child and i usually get most things done when DS has his sleeps during the day ( 2 x 2 hour sleeps ) so i have 4 hours all up to do the housework, but i sometimes dont get everything done if i have other things to do and thats when DP will get it done.
He leaves the house at 4:30am and gets home at 4pm everyday.
Just tell the Mr, you have had enough and he better start pulling his weight!
15-06-2012 09:07 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2012
Mine does the vacuuming once a week, all the outdoor stuff, gets dd ready for bed and puts her to sleep, feeds her dinner. He also cleans the shower.
Now that im going to start work soon he will also be doing alot mire.
He doesn't complain when I ask him to do something (most of the time ) and will make b'fast on the weekend
mummy to gods gift to us
15-06-2012 09:11 #4
My dh does
The dishes three times a week
15-06-2012 09:17 #5
My DH shares the workload around the house with me. I don't do washing, I hate washing so he washes, hangs out and folds away washing... He cooks most nights... When he is home at night he baths the kids. He mows the lawns etc takes the rubbish out. I generally do the more in depth cleaning for example the bathroom, toilet, bedrooms etc. I am a bit of a clean freak so I do a 'big clean of the house most days' meaning that I do the bathrooms vacuuming and mopping everyday. My hubby works crazy hours as a shift worker (sometimes 10-12 hr shifts for 11 days straight) and even if he does night shift he still gets up the next day so he can spend time with me and the kiddies and helps out around the house. I try not to see it as him helping me out because I honestly don't believe it is my job to run around like a maid and do everything and now that I am studying full time I think its only fair we do 50/50 of the home chores... But I cop it all the time from friends and family about it. They just can't understand my hubby believes I am his wife and partner not his maid
Last edited by Theophania; 15-06-2012 at 09:21.
15-06-2012 09:18 #6
My DH washes his own work clothes (chef uniforms) every 4 days and when he's home for tea (usually 1-2 nights a week) he'll do the dishes and clean up the kitchen afterwards.
He also puts the bins out on bin day and mows if I'm pregnant or can't do it.
If I need something done I make a note for him otherwise he forgets.
15-06-2012 09:19 #7wishes she was a glow worm. A glow worm's never glum, 'cos how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out of your bum?
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
- Under Your Bed
Where did I go wrong then? My DP
Baths the kids sometimes, an only cleans if iv made him feel guilty bout something
15-06-2012 09:20 #8
My DF works 12 hr days most days and also goes to the gym most mornings so not too much during the week. He takes the bins out to the road once a week, and helps cook dinner if he's home early enough or if I've had a rough evening with the baby and haven't been able to get it done. On the weekend he helps out a bit more and will hang out a load of washing or stack the dishwasher, but only if I ask him. He's happy to make breakfast and lunch too. He still loves leaving his clothes all over the floor though. He's very hands on with the girls. He will entertain them so I can get things done, and does the bedtime routine on weekends or helps out on nights that he's home early enough. I'm a SAHM so I'm happy with how it is and if I need help I only have to ask him and he's happy to. If I was also working 20 hours a week I would expect him to help out a bit more with the vacuuming and mopping and bathrooms.
Last edited by inertia; 15-06-2012 at 09:23.
15-06-2012 09:21 #9
Dh doesn't do a lot. Sometimes he packs the dishwasher, sometimes he doesn't. He rarely cooks, rarely cleans and his idea of washing is to put his work uniform on and leave everything else.
We are in the same situation, he works mostly days and I work nights. I do all the cleaning, washing and cooking, even the nights I work I cook dinner in the day ready to go.
I don't have a solution. I rant and he gets better, but its not for long. He is all about equality and expects me to financially contribute, but he won't do housework.
I'm getting a bit desperate too. I really resent him not helping, but worse still resent the example he is setting for our girls. I don't want them growing up thinking that women do everything.
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15-06-2012 09:22 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
Don't get me wrong he is a wonderful father but when it comes to helping around the house he is )/!,@&? useless!
I always have to ask him more than once to help out and then sometimes he gets annoyed and says I 'demand' not ask!!
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