If my first baby wasn't born by casesarean, both he and I may have died. I knew this from around 20 weeks. I suppose it depends on how you view things overall. For me, it was a lifesaver. There was no other option. When I was first told, I was upset but that was that, and I moved on. He is now 12 and I don't have the slightest disappointment that I didn't have him naturally.
I don't see the point in dwelling on something that, now, all these years later, isn't relevant (to me).
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15-06-2012 12:58 #111Senior Member
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- Feb 2009
15-06-2012 13:12 #112
My nephew was a traumatic birth (vacuum, forceps, he got stuck because him arm was up). He's now special needs. Maybe related to the birth, maybe not.
This was one of the reasons I chose a CS. I'm not "smug" about my choices. I did a lot of reading in the sections you've all so kindly referred me to.
Of course there are bad CSs that result in trauma. And there's bad VBs that result in trauma. I'm not talking about those. I'm talking about normal ones with normal recovery.
Memories of the CS are such a small part of my memory. Instead I chose to focus on how amazing my DD is. I'm not about to dwell on any negatives in the past when I have so many positives right in front of me.
15-06-2012 13:50 #113
Wise Enough, have you not thought that perhaps people with birth trauma *may* only 'dwell on the negatives' when talking and 'reflecting' upon their past trauma? It's a thread asking about recovery perspectives, so of course people are going to reflect and comment on their feelings and perceptions of their recoveries and for some, it wasn't positive, for some it was. It doesn't automatically mean that there is this constant focusing of negatives and not 'moving on' or not marvelling enough at their kids, or basking in their awesomeness. It's the birth and recoveries that people have focused on, not their kids.
Sadly for some, these memories aren't distant ones, we don't know when they gave birth, we also don't know if they're still suffering post natal depression, or post traumatic stress, things may be still raw.
It's obviously a given that a baby born healthy and happy is what EVERY woman hopes for, there really is no need for people to keep harping on about that point. No one in their right mind would say otherwise.
I am pleased and happy for you (genuinely so) that you are able to not dwell on your past, have no regrets about your choice to have a c/s and are happy your c/s went so well, but as you can see by this thread, that is not the case for all, so some of your previous comments have been very insensitive to say the least.
15-06-2012 13:51 #114
15-06-2012 14:09 #115
I turned a cell into a human being, pushing them out of my vagina wouldn't change that. I'd consider that feat a woman's bodies 'ultimate function'. I gave them life by doing this and saved myself the hassle of having to push them out. Peeing on my own isn't really a high priority while I'm basking in the newborn bliss, I was quite content to adore them for a solid 6 hours.
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Wise Enough (15-06-2012)
15-06-2012 14:18 #116Guest Guest
By choosing a cs you obviously chose to look at the negatives and worst case scenarios in vaginal deliveries and that's fine, it's your choice to do that. But if a woman has had a bad experience with her cs how else do you expect her to look at it? You can easily say its a distant memory for you because you chose it and it wasn't a bad experience.
Not everyone loved their cs and not everyone got the choice in having one.
15-06-2012 14:26 #117Guest Guest
I had terrible after birth pains with my 1st and because of the failed epi (which went in 5 times) and then the spinal, I suffered back pain which put me back in hospital on painkillers.
But the 2nd time I had no after birth pains at all and I was expecting it, I was lucky in that regard.
15-06-2012 14:34 #118
15-06-2012 14:44 #119Guest Guest
Then when I had an appointment before my vbac to discuss the complications I had (and for them to make a plan Incase of emergency and know what to give me) they said if I wanted an epi during labour it probably won't work again. I was prepped to go natural anyway but just the thought of another spinal or epi gave me the shivers. I could deal with an emergency again, but I couldn't elect it, I was just too scared and I wouldn't have shown up!
15-06-2012 14:49 #120
My first post wasn't meant to hijack the thread, and I actually do agree with unique(?) about her points. I find other posts attacking me and reading tone where there was none intended to be offensive.
I can say the sky is blue at the moment and someone will argue with me. So I'm not bothering with this thread anymore. I don't sneer at vaginal births. I debated for weeks, agonised over my choice and cried with stress. My family was ready to shoot me. In the end I realised it didn't matter how I got my baby and I still feel the same way. No one is going to make me feel guilty for having a CS.
I have better things to do than argue with smarmy people. I'm going to play with my baby.
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