Was I in the wrong to say this to DH?

[Bubs'n'Roses]

Regardless of length of labour, it's the principle isn't it? If they have the hide to pull "you can't kick me out of the room" but then turn around and aren't helpful does it matter how long the labour was?

I totally get that he didn't have the reminder of pain to keep him awake and keep him going but on the other hand, how come he can stay up all night and day when a new patch on a game was released but couldn't last a few hours in a hospital? It was a bit "either you can do it, or you can't." Which is all I've expressed now. Either be there 100% or don't be there at all, there will be no half way this time.

I think its great to bring up the subject before birth rather than in the middle of labour getting mad because they are complaining. Sort of like an extension to the birth plan.

I have great faith in him this time and have said we've got 4 weeks, a doctors appt next week so anything he wants to mention feel free. So come July we'll see and hopefully he gets a glowing report lol. :P

[Hamilicious]

You had every right to say what you did. It really is all about you and your baby.

My DH was amazing. He only left the suite once - to talk to my Dad who had called his mobile (and he only left because I was mid contraction and vocalising, I was glad he left as I didn't want my Dad to hear that!). He stayed by my side, although my labour was quite quick (2.5 hours). Had it gone longer I would have been quite happy for him to duck into the ensuite or sit down on the lounge and eat but no leaving and no whinging!

I also think, if it came to it, you would be able to kick him out - you're the patient. Hopefully your DH has figured it out and will be there to support you.

[Tildy]

I said something very very similar to my DP when discussing birth. If he isnt going to be with me in my corner 110% then I am locking him out. I need to focus solely on me and the baby and I don't need any negative vibes to distract me. I certainly don't need to be worrying about him and what he is going to do or say during that time. If he can't be my main support person then I will hire a doula or call in my mum or sister. Heck, I will do it myself if I gotta. It would be easier to do it alone then do it with negativity coming in from others.

He was stunned when I said this. His ex was very agreeable when it came to birth apparently and I have the nerve to have all these plans and demands. I figure, in the end I am doing what is right for me and if it is right for me it will be right for the baby. Its not about him.

[Piffle]

OP you were quite reasonable and fully justified in saying what you said. You could have been a lot more heavy handed about it all but you weren't, well done.

My DH is a wonderful hubby and father but he sometimes has random moments where he seems to become totally oblivious of others and very self-absorbed. Like just after our DS's birth we had both had a rough two nights in hospital with hardly any sleep so I suggested he go home and get a full night's sleep. He finally showed up at like 10am the next day and when I asked how he's slept he said "alriiight, still pretty tired though"! And I had had about 2 hours sleep over the past 3 days!! ASSS!! Hahaha. The point of my story is I think you could have been a lot more cranky!

[happy2bmumma]

Wow sounds like a pain in the backside. We're having our first in DEC and I hope I don't have to look forward to this. I guess if he gets hungry then thats fine if he heads next door to the local shop to get something to eat I'm sure I won't b thinking much about food. I hope he supports you in the future but men will be men and won't ever understand the sacrifices we make.

This also raises the isssue I'll need to discuss with him.

[Zanne]

Haha, it is the truth..let it out. At least we know now why men dont give birth, they would surely die.Maybe pack him a few packs of snacks and a magazine in your hospital bag.