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  1. #11
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    Buttoneska is offline Winner 2010- Most Community Minded Thread Award
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    ild say none of them, although smoking would be the closest.

    i think classing things like that as abuse marginalises real abuse.

    for me real abuse would include
    -hitting a child
    -yelling at a child
    -using fear and indimidaion to control a child
    -anything that makes the child feel unsafe
    -taking away/controlling/manipulating basic human function ie. not letting them go the toilet or eat meal or not drink water
    -physically punishing/controlling them

    personally some of the things/punishments I experienced
    -loss of meals
    -limitiaton of water
    -limitation of going to the toilet
    -'eye for eye' punishment ie. kicked my sister = acting like an animal = being tied up on leash and forced to eat of out dog bowl. getting out of bed after bed time = walking laps of the room until I got disy and spewd. getting holes in the pants = crawling up and down the slate hallway on bare knees until they bleed. kickign my doona of at night = sleeping in a dressing gown that was sewn up and then tied to the bed.

    I could write for hrs, but yeh I think there is a difference between undesirable parenting and abuse.

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  3. #12
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    Buttoneska said it better than me, NONE of these are illegal and NONE of these classify as 'abuse'.

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    Scenario 1: if the child smells it's neglect in my eyes. You can tell if a child is dirty

    Scenario 2: I'm surprised at the responses. I'm a smoker and I would never hold my child and smoke I consider it neglect

    Scenario 3: i think it varies depending on the situation, if it's all day everyday it's probably not neglect but it's crappy parenting IMO if it's when your sick go for it

    None of these are abuse but they are neglectful
    Last edited by daysta112; 14-06-2012 at 09:04.

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    We know the affect of passive smoking. It is causing direct harm to whoever is around. Adults can speak up, walk quickly past, move away. Children, particularly babies in arms, cannot do that. It is causing a lifetime of harm to them and is no different to smoking in a car with under 18s, which is illegal.

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    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    We know the affect of passive smoking. It is causing direct harm to whoever is around. Adults can speak up, walk quickly past, move away. Children, particularly babies in arms, cannot do that. It is causing a lifetime of harm to them and is no different to smoking in a car with under 18s, which is illegal.
    yes but it is NOT illegal and thus not classified under DOCS etc as a form of neglect,

    I dont smoke, my mum does and it is a subject I am torn on, she smokes inside and yes we DO visit her, I am not going to cut off all contact with my mum for doing something that is legal and addictive but on the same instance I cant stand the smell or how sore it makes my eyes and throat feel

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    Not exactly sure what you're wanting in this thread, maybe some elaboration would help?

    Abuse is when a child is psychologically, physically or sexually hurt, indimidated, scared ect intentionally. This isn't happening in any of those cases - except the smoking case, where you could argue that intentionally exposing your child to cigarette smoke is harming them.

    Neglect is different - its where you fail to to care for the needs of your child to the point where it is detrimental to their welfare. Not really happening in case one and two.

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    I don't think any of those things alone would amount to neglect. If they are otherwise looked after I don't think you could label anybody abusive. The smoking thing I don't like, but I doubt docs would consider it abuse.

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    Smacking and yelling are not called abuse in a legal sense either, but gee whizz people scream abuse at both of these. Same with swearing around kids, not illegal but people say it is abusive.

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    None of them are child abuse or neglect. Smoking near a child is wrong and selfish.. but I do know a few people who do it and they aren't evil. They love their kids. I really don't understand why they do it. Putting a child in front of tv all day.. sounds like the parent is not coping, may be trying to avoid engaging.. might be good to get some support. But if you reported them to dcs nothing would happen probably.

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  13. #20
    Buttoneska's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    Smacking and yelling are not called abuse in a legal sense either, but gee whizz people scream abuse at both of these. Same with swearing around kids, not illegal but people say it is abusive.
    Yeh I do agree - I personally would never smoke in front of kids, but I don't think I would call DOCS on someone who did. But yeh I find it really wrong and definatly neglect.

    But then I also think putting a kid in front of the TV all day every day is neglect too.

    I just think they are on the more minor end of the spectrum (while still not ideal)


 

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