1. Trust your best friend of 11 years
2. As for what happened, well there's no way for you to know exactly what happened if indeed anything did happen, so
3. If you really decide to keep seeing him outside the home, find out as much as you can about him, start with your best friend and her partner (his bf I think you said?)
Ask for specifics about past supposed thefts etc. think about his personality, his life, career history etc. is there anything that doesn't fit? Has he been in stable employment for a while etc etc that sort of stuff.
It does seem very unusual that someone who's just been accused of stealing pulls out $100 and gives it to the accuser. It seems like guilt, as opposed to high morals.
But trust your BF of 11 years - you've been friends for 11 years for a reason and if it did so happen to be some crazy set-up then she was lied to as well by the sister.
+ Reply to Thread
Results 51 to 59 of 59
13-06-2012 20:01 #51
13-06-2012 20:10 #52
did she leave her money in her handbag and the handbag was under the table or was the money under the table (on its own)? if it was on its own its quiet possible one of the kids thought it was a toy - actually as I write this if it was at kid level it (her handbag) could one of the kids (accident of course) have gone into her bag to play. My friends kids are constantly playing with my bag if I dont keep it up high
Im thinking that she maybe jealous for a few reasons
a) its her sisters partners friend and
b) it was just the two of you (not in a romantic way) and now she is the third wheel, when before she could chat to you now you have him
c) jealousy that she (feels) she is paying half costs and she could feel you are only paying thirds as he is contributing
I agree to go to the police, it will soon worm out who is innocent.
If she did have money stolen by him then she shouldnt have an issue going to the police (even if he gave her some back) and he would be the reluctant one
and if she (lets say "misplaced") the money then he would be all for going to the police to clear his name and she would be hesitant- come on almost half the money is still missing
if both are keen then to me that would indicate she misplaced the money (as she honestly thinks he took it) but he is willing to clear his name.
Either way I think your housemate arrangement maybe coming to an end soon as it sounds like damage has been done
Last edited by Plan2bamummy; 13-06-2012 at 20:16.
13-06-2012 20:45 #53Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2010
I can't get past the fact he gave her his last $100. Why would he do that if he wasn't guilty? I don't think it's unrealistic she knew how much she had in her wallet particularly if she took the money out for fees. Also I'm not sure the police will care about $180.
13-06-2012 20:55 #54
If I was this guy and I was innocent, and I wanted to impress/continue my relationship with the OP and I was fully aware that she knew of my past where stealing was questioned then I would offer up whatever money I had on me as compensation just to be a nice guy about it. He doesn't have to be guilty to feel bad for the woman.
13-06-2012 21:13 #55
Ahhh Watson this is a tricky one. I actually work for a hotel and I can say about 10 incidents here a guest has accused a housekeeper or room service attendant of stealing something from the room only to have to call back and admit they found it in their luggage. My point is it is very easy to point the finger (especially if you already have it in your mind the person is a thief)
His history of stealing sounds like bull s**t tbh. Sounds like there was one incident which quite obviously didnt involve him as she apologised. Also to take all the money sounds suss - I would believe it more if she was missing say $50 out of $180.
I must admit, in my opinion, M has lost the money, spent it and forgot or whatever. She had a knee jerk reaction to not seeing what she expected and has accused your BF as you bestie had planted the idea.
Him offering the last $100 is odd because honestly if someone falsely accused me I would tell them to jump but as mentioned her dropping the matter after only receiving half back is also odd - both seem to scream guilty behaviour.
I would do one of two things (both mentioned before)
1. Call the room mates bluff and say it is going to the police, she will have to give interviews under oath etc and see what she does. Keep in mind it may backfire and she agrees and it drags S through the mud.
2. I wouldnt give up the relationship and I would not let it tarnish it. You cant bring him over for a bit if it makes her uncomfortable but honestly I have a problem her telling you who you can/cant have over. Also with a child you cant just sleep over his which is another option. Seriously I would consider maybe moving house or as someone else said if you can make changes so that you seal off each others side of the house.
P.s I think your best friend is causing a bit of trouble for you - she should not have ganged up on you with her sister. i know she loves and wants to protect her sister and you as well but it sounds like she told M about what she heard about S which would have made her uneasy.
Seriously I feel bad for you and also for S if he didnt do it.
Can you please clarify - did S leave the house between coming to bed and taking a shower when you checked his wallet? Thats is your biggest clue if he did not have it on him....
13-06-2012 21:23 #56Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2007
Smells like two rats...
Your bestie- jealous cos you have less time to spend with her and your happy...
your roomie- she doesnt want house guest all the time...
Is it possible M knew youd gone to bed earlier?
TBH I think it sounds like they may not want you to be with him... if she thought there were issues with him stealign surely she wouldnt count her$180 then leave it out and go off to bed knowing full well that he was in the room nearby... If I were her I'd have taken my purse and $ into my room.
AND now your roomie is blackmailing you to let herself be happy(see first comments) I say tell her to go to the police... and invite him over for the night!
13-06-2012 22:02 #57
You would think if they knew he had a history like that they wouldnt be leaving money lying around..
Sent from my GT-I9000 using BubHub
13-06-2012 22:05 #58
Also to add.. He would be stupid to take money when he was the only guest there and the last one up.. Its too obvious
Sent from my GT-I9000 using BubHub
14-06-2012 11:57 #59
I think either your best friend or the sister has feelings for this guy. More likely its the sister.
He may have offered up his last $100 because he felt bad for her or to impress you.
I like the idea of calling her bluff and saying she needs to do a sworn statement. There doesnt seem like any real evidence he ever stole ANY money. Good luck.
By HarvestMoon in forum Hubbers who are studyingReplies: 33Last Post: 21-11-2013, 13:08
By Cue in forum Conception issues & ttcReplies: 13Last Post: 28-06-2013, 13:05
By CinnamonGirl in forum Bottlefeeding SupportReplies: 6Last Post: 03-03-2012, 09:59
Melbourne Natural Medicine ClinicLeading natural health practitioners in fertility, preconception, pregnancy, and children's health. We take an ...
LATESTToilet training: when is the best time to start?Why it is OK for your child to be differentWhat is a blessing way? How is it different to a baby shower?
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
Netflix - what should I watch?Movies / Music / Books / TV Chat
Dr Antony Lighten - Appreciation threadpregnancy and babies through IVF
Funniest thing your kid has said to youGeneral Chat
Rude 10 year old. Ideas?General Chat
Egg/donor code discussion - South AfricaEgg Donation
Happiness thread.General Chat
Awesome Mums of Autistic kids-how many of us are there (#3)????????Parents of Children with Special Needs