Another thing too. I think schools and teachers, in general, have the expectation that all children will or should behave in the same way, sometimes it seems without recognising that, while most children ARE similar in the way their brain works, there are children who are outside the square. Children go from child care centres where staff are taught to programme for children as individuals, to recognise EACH childs abilities, talents, needs and areas requiring further development - into a school system that generally lumps all children in the same catagory. Whilst they were once learning to celebrate their individual traits and character, they are then forced to comply with what a group of children does. Imagine coming from a context where learning and education is gained through playing, exploring and experiencing to one where learning is achieved by lessons, books, homework and structure. It must be terribly confusing to children who don't cope as well with change or regiment. Children who experience behavioural issues in early childhood, IMO, are children who don't fit into the box. Your son just might not be the kind of child who will be scholastically inclined. Unfortunately, it's still a requirement by the education department that he be forced into a system that he doesn't cope with. I would bet that he has other talents that you know of (or don't know of yet). Maybe he's creative, artistic, expressive, athletic, musical. He might not turn out to be the future Einstein - but he might be the future Picasso, Bethoven, Wally Lewis or Steven Spielberg!! Just a thought...
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14-06-2012 10:59 #11
14-06-2012 11:39 #12
Hi there I couldn't read and not reply. Although my DD is only 15 months I saw my mum struggle with my two brothers for years with this kind of thing.
We changed schools 3 times beforeBrother 1 (B1) behaviour settled somewhat. Mum also took him to many appts and he was always pushed into the too hard basket. Years later he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder which if someone had only taken the time to listen to mum his schooling could have gone so much better.
B2 was also the class clown and really "naughty" we couldn't understand why as he was great at home. After a bit it turned out he was bored. He mucked around because he finished the set task and nothing further was offered to him as the teacher didn't realize he was always ahead. Like pp said he didn't fit into the box.
I think alot of the time it is the teacher who has the potential to be able to help kids with behavioral issues. However with 25 to 30 kids in a class whith varying abilities it must be hard to allocate extra time to those who need it.
Maybe your son would benefit from having a teachers aid with him for a while. Someone to be one on one with him in class to offer him discipline the teacher may not be able to or to see if he is bored or not understanding? I have also heard of schools with much smaller classes. Less distraction and more of the teachers time as less kids. I don't know of any specifically sorry but you might be able to contact education dept and ask?
Sorry this is so long and has spelling errors I am on my phone
All the best with your son. You know him better than anyone do if your not happy with a diagnosis or opinion then get second, third, fourth opinions.
You sound like your doing the very best you can for him.
14-06-2012 11:58 #13
Hedda, massive hugs to you This would be totally devastating for me, my little boy, DS1 has a few issues we are dealing with and thankfully his school has been so supportive. DS1 started prep this year and I have been so anxious about it. We are a little bit further from you - Sunnybank Hills so I can't recommend any schools right near you.
We have been down the path of 2 x speeth patholgists, 2 x peadiatricians, OT, physio, PPP. DS1 was given a dx of ADHD late last year plus he also has some sensory and auditory processing problems.
I am so sorry his school is reacting this way. This was my fear with DS1 and luckily we have a very understanding teacher and she has spoken with the principal, deputy and guidence councillor in order to help her and DS1.
DS1 finds it very hard to focus and concentrate, he is distracted very easily and often becomes 'silly' and restless with the other kids. The other kids have cottoned on that DS1 is very eager to act the clown and they him on as in his mind he thinks all the kids are there to be his friends and to play with him. Unfortunately DS1 misses alot of social queues from the kids, isn't always able to stay up to speed with the converstaion and misses alot of what is being said. This in turn leads the other kids to get very frustrated with DS1.
This term I am picking DS1 up at the start of second break so his days are not as long. The teacher recommended this or one less day at the end of last term during parent teacher interview as she said he just seems to switch off. And I know he does, if he is not interested in something he just doesn't want to do it. Unfortunately school and my little man really do not mix well, which I knew would be the case but kids need to go to school and I am so disappointed that your DS's school is not more willing to accommodate. Why does the psych think changing schools will make a difference? What does your son say about going to school? Does he say he doesn't like it? Does he talk about it much with you. Do you have problems with him at home also? Sorry for all the questions just trying to get a bit more of a picture.
I changed DS1's diet about 2 years ago and cut out preservatives, artificial colours etc and he is now also on a low salycilate diet.
Have you looked into your DS's diet at all as it is not at all uncommon for certain foods (even fruits and vegetables) to affect us. I came across Sue Dengates website fedup which was such an insight, makes you look differently at the foods we consume.
I understand about almost wanting your DS to be given a 'label' as then you could say DS has x, y and Z. I am still not sure if DS1 dx is correct, we are on a waiting list to see another pead privately (6 mnth waiting list) as the paed we are seeing atm at the last visit told me if I told her things were terrible with DS1 she would give him medication!! I was horrifed. She also dismissed my theory of him have CAPD and I have since taken him to a fantastic speechie and even though Auditory processing disorder can't be formerly diagnosed until 7 or 8 yrs she said he definately has Auditory processing issues and she is working with him based on this and in the last month is coming along.
I haven't really given you any answers but don't let them put your DS in the too hard basket. Do they have a guidence counciler at the school? Them ringing you about his behaviour is so unhelpful, of course you know how he is, you are his mother. I really wanted to post this to say your post struck a cord with me and that if you aren't happy with the school then do look into others, ring them, ask to speak to the principals and see what strategies they have in place at the school. ALso if you are not happy with the specialists you have seen, go to someone else. It is a long and frustrating journey, I have taken DS to so many people it makes my mind boggle but when I look back I can see how far he has come along and he will always struggle at school but whatever school your son is in they need to be accepting of him and help him.
I am not reall good at putting what I am thinking into words so I am sorry if this is a rambling mess. Please PM me if you want for a chat. Do let us know what you end up doing.
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07-08-2012 22:11 #14
how are things going?
i hope you have been able to sort out his schooling situation and speak to the principal or someone who can help.
i could have written the above post kimbo, i have booked my son in for capd assessment in a few weeks. we have just changed schools but the problems are still there (restlessness, focusing, social issues) but had a great chat with his new teacher today who is very nurturing.
hope the new semester is looking better for you all
08-08-2012 10:47 #15
I really feel for you and your family. I can't offer advice, just offering a bump for you and hopefully you can come up with a solution that works xx
08-08-2012 16:51 #16Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
That's awful he is only 6 ! It's not like he is a strong violent teenager, so annoying for you and hurtful. My son has autism , people hate labels but labels get you aides and support, I'm so sorry your going through this alone . I hope you find a caring supportive school xxx
08-08-2012 16:54 #17Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
Ps what is up with his behavior? What does he do exactly ? Could he have a hearing issue ? I remember an article I read once, this child was aggressive and angry all the time eventually the parents checked his hearing and he had a real bad ear problem , enlarged adenoids etc....
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