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  1. #61
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    I wanted to add too I hope I didn't come across snarky that wasn't my intention. But I think this thread can go one of two ways - fighting or some reflection and insight into the mind of others. Empathy I guess to maybe see another POV.

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    Nothing would ever make me give up my dd she is my whole heart. Even just thinking of this makes me want to cry.

  3. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Benefits of this thread:
    1) a greater understanding of women who are doing it tough
    2) a greater appreciation for the life we have now (healthy kids and a capability to look after them.
    Very much agree. It's amazing how fast things can change.

  4. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by Super Trooper View Post
    It is not the likes of you and jak i am talking about - i respect those who can have a mature and open conversation about such things...

    Seeking to discuss and further understand issues is a great thing... Ive just seen quite a few 'spin offs' of that original thread which are acting to continue subtley judging away, not to have a discussion

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    I don't know about the other threads, but this thread is to get a conversation going. It's not to attack, belittle or gossip about anyone else.

    I think that with discussion comes knowledge and understanding. I know that I am stuggling to understand another's choice to give up being a primary care giver, therefore I've asked a question to gain better insight. Not to be judgemental, but to possible better the advice I give in the future.

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  6. #65
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    I would like to add too it was the moment I was willing to give up DD I realised how much help I needed and that giving her up would do a lot less damage then keeping her with me through my battle with depression. There is plenty of support out there to keep families together if people simply ask for it.

    Unless I was physically incapable of actually caring for myself there is no way I could give her up, and by this I mean a total vegetable.

    And also for the people that are gobsmacked this has come up after today's thread, bear in mind, in that thread the OP claimed she was fine and didn't need any help help, this was simply the better option so of course people are curious as to what can make a parent think that as I believe most parents would do whatever they could to have their children in their care as this thread is highlighting.

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  8. #66
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    Nothing!!!!!!!

    I would move mountains for my kids. If it ment doing things I wasn't proud of to ensure they didn't miss out then I would do it.

    My children are my life now. Mine and their fathers responsibility. If something happened to dh and I was left to provide for them solo I would do everything I possibly could to ensure I was a fit and able parent to give my children what they need.

  9. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jakois View Post
    I was talking about the time when you were thinking of moving away from your daughter to study?
    Yes, that is correct. Well sort of, I could no longer afford to live on the new centrelink payment - would have been left with $10 a week after rent. So, I did have to have some serious thought as to what was best for my DD. And me leaving her was one of them.

    However, I couldn't give a flying to what others may have thought about that as my only thought was what was best for DD. Staying with the mother isn't always what is best, I think sometimes our society forgets that.

    As for the last few hours on BH, that is the exact reason why I thought it would be good to ask the question.
    Discussion brings about many different view points.
    I appreciate that Jak Just the timing of it makes me feel a little off if you get me.

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    What do people consider 'not coping' for them? a mental illness or just not enjoying parenting? if people here come to the point they truly hated being a parent would they give up custody? would you seek counselling, soldier on, or would you consider it best for your children to be raised by someone who wanted to parent them? no judgement just an honest question

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    Ohhh I can't imagine having to give up DS for anything at all... But yes of course there's a list of possibilities... And in those cases I'll have him in temporary (preferably) care with family..
    - death (both DH and me)
    - serious illness where I'm unable to perform my motherly role..
    - if my life's in danger (Hitman!!) and such extreme cases that hopefully will never apply to me...or any of u.

  13. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    What do people consider 'not coping' for them? a mental illness or just not enjoying parenting? if people here come to the point they truly hated being a parent would they give up custody? would you seek counselling, soldier on, or would you consider it best for your children to be raised by someone who wanted to parent them? no judgement just an honest question
    Yes, I would think that it would be better for a child to be raised by someone who could love them and care for them and make them feel wanted.

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