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  1. #1
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    Default Would like to know everyone's thoughts on this please..

    If a mother doesn't have custody of her own children (sees them weekends/holidays etc) because they live with their father or some other relative, do YOU think she's a bad mother?

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    Depends on the situation. If she had other kids at home then I won't lie, yes I would judge.

    I wouldn't understand why one child is being excluded.
    If it was all children, without knowing all the facts I would probably presume it was for a good reason.

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    not at all, I think some people would automatically judge though, maybe this is because society always thinks the children belong with the mother and that has been the norm for so long

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    I don't think I could really judge without knowing all the facts. Personally, I don't know why mothers are constantly judged on the custody of children and fathers are not.

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    No.

    I would wonder about the circumstances but wouldn't immediately jump to the conclusion that she is a bad mother.

    I would also feel terrible for her as I couldn't imagine not seeing my children every day.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ana Gram View Post
    Personally, I don't know why mothers are constantly judged on the custody of children and fathers are not.
    So true...

    Keep them coming....

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    I wouldn't necessarily assume she is a bad mother especially without knowing the reasons for it.

    However, it's something I would struggle to understand because I personally can't imagine voluntarily separating myself from my children, particularly when they are young.

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    In some cases the mother is to be applauded for being honest and doing what's best for the child(ren) rather than keeping all the kids with her and not caring for them in the best way possible

    Sometimes life is just not sunshine and lollipops and some peope can't/don't cope for many many reasons.

    I agree with Anagram - why do we judge the mothers and not the fathers?

    I think that many people judge others by their own strengths/weakness and do not understand where/what/who other people are. I think that many people do not understand the adage of walking a mile in someone else's shoes before they make judgements.

    If you are posting about yourself Cassie, I do not 'judge' you to be a bad mother or a bad person. I don't really understand your life or your decisions but I do not 'judge' you as 'bad'.
    Last edited by WorkingClassMum; 11-06-2012 at 12:00.

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    yes, tbh i would assume it was court ordered and she lost in court.

    if i knew it was voluntary...well, i would find it hard to get my head around and i would feel sorry for the child/ren at not having a mum who was there for them/would fight for them/fix their life up for them/be sober for them.

    to me...the mother/child bond is so important and (in most cases) is deeper than any other.

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    I wouldn't assume she was a bad mother. She might be a mother who puts the well-being of her children first and has the strength to objectively see that her children would be better off living with their dad. If that were the case I'd say she's a GREAT mother.

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