I think it sounds like HE is a bit of an issue... not so much the kids, though obviously having so many and them being so young makes things very hard.
I see he's only quite young... I'd say immaturity probably doesn't help... and hopefully, with time, he'll accept that he has to pull his weight too.
Perhaps relationship counselling may help.
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11-06-2012 17:21 #11
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11-06-2012 18:06 #12
11-06-2012 18:25 #13
Ask him to mind the kids next weekend, spend saturday night in the city. Don't let him have any help, and maybe when you get back he will be more understanding.
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11-06-2012 18:53 #14
He's been in my daughter's life since he was 20 (now 24), and he has improved with age... so I do think it might just be a maturity thing... but that doesn't mean you should settle for his behaviour just because he's young. It's just perhaps a REASON why he's maybe so selfish... but you need to push for him to improve and DEMAND he step up to the plate. You didn't make these kids on your own so you shouldn't be raising them on your own either.
11-06-2012 19:10 #15
I'm not trying to sound bishy but wth are you doing making sure he has dinner?!?!
I'd suggest doing nothing for him for a week so he realises how much you do. when the kids go to sleep don't clean. It will be there in the morning keep your sanity
Re. Nappy rash try some calamine lotion it helped ds when he had dihorrea
Big big hugs hope tomorrow is better.
11-06-2012 19:28 #16Junior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
You are a superwoman! I think I reached this point and i only have 2!! It's the hardest job in the world and especially when they are so close together! Well done! ( sorry I don't have any advice- I just wanted to point out how amazing u r with all those kids!!)
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11-06-2012 20:25 #17
As for going out on Saturday night , we are moving so won't be an option I will be wayyyy to pooped to even want to move lol!! But will keep that in mind for another weekend!!!
I have thought about not doing a complete thing for him dinner, clean clothes etc etc too show him just how much I really do!! But have never stuck to it! I guess I'm too use to doing everything that I just go about my day without thinking!!!
From the stuff I have read today on the forum, I'm glad I have gotten some support from you girls!!
Kind words are exactly what I needed I think!!
Also last night when the kids were finally asleep I stayed up and watched tv all by myself it was nice and de stresse me abit!! He came and asked why I wasn't in bed and watching tv instead of being still up and cleaning like I normally do when I'm still up , I told him I was enjoying time to myself!! And I would go to bed when I was ready too.
I find it hard to sleep when I'm as stressed as what I was last night!
11-06-2012 20:38 #18-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
What a hard job you have!
The priority should be your kids being cared for and you being healthy and happy. Wiping your partners butt for him should be last on the list. If you've had a busy day, forget cooking and laundering for your partner.
You need to put your foot down ASAP otherwise you will end up like my parents: 65 years old and mum
Still complaining that dad is lazy and she has to do everything for him (I have no sympathy for her btw, it's her fault she didn't put her foot down earlier).
From the moment your partner gets home the free time should be split 50-50. Make sure you get your share. If it means not tidying up, not ironing his clothes, or walking out and saying "im going out I'll be back in 2 hours, you need to look after the kids."
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11-06-2012 20:57 #19
I hear ya, big hugs to u but most of all you need to make time for yourself to relax and come up for air coz u sound overwhelmed and overloaded with responsibility ... Takes two to make babies so he needs to maybe put in an hour each night so u can shower, watch telly with a cuppa for 30 mins or whatever u need to do to whind down and feel normal.
Chat with him calmly and ask him where u need help.
Good luck, you'll be ok ! Hope u have a better day tomorrow !
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