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  1. #61
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    I'd like to clarify too, I don't expect every single person who comes for dinner to contribute something, this is only in instances where there is a large group of us and is done instead of everyone bringing something separately, as in one brings a salad, one brings dessert, this way, we say ok, $5-$10/person and come round for a feast.

    Again, not for special occasions and only for large social, fun, group get togethers. And mainly cause its almost always at my house which I can't afford 😊

    Oh and it is always prearranged as a group this way too, I would never invite someone and then throw this at them upon arrival or departure.

  2. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by Merlsification View Post
    There seems to be that lack of communication in this thread - again.

    The question is: Is a contribution at a dinner party a normal request?

    I think we've all established if it's a communal get together, a family pre-arranged event etc that a pre-organised cost arrangement is perfectly ok.

    BUT would you invite somebody to dinner, then expect payment in lieu of food and services rendered.

    This isn't aimed at the budget-conscious who can't afford it because to put it bluntly, a cash strapped person/people probably wouldn't invite folks over for dinner unless it refers to the pre-organised cash contribution or family event as stated above.

    Just thought I'd point that out
    Yup i agree. Getting together with friends to organise party or bbq or something is different than charging people who come over for dinner. What do you do if they don't have cash, use eftpos? Or if they didn't eat an entree, do you charge them less.

  3. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by Merlsification View Post
    There seems to be that lack of communication in this thread - again.

    The question is: Is a contribution at a dinner party a normal request?

    I think we've all established if it's a communal get together, a family pre-arranged event etc that a pre-organised cost arrangement is perfectly ok.

    BUT would you invite somebody to dinner, then expect payment in lieu of food and services rendered.

    This isn't aimed at the budget-conscious who can't afford it because to put it bluntly, a cash strapped person/people probably wouldn't invite folks over for dinner unless it refers to the pre-organised cash contribution or family event as stated above.

    Just thought I'd point that out
    Exactly!!!!!

    We have pizza nights to watch the footy with friends weekly and each family pays a pre arranged amount

    BUT I would never dream of inviting friends round for a party or dinner and expecting them to pay - I cannot get my head around how people think that's ok?! It is rude, rude, rude!!!

  4. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by smileygirl View Post
    At a guess...i would suggest that those who would find it terribly rude have come from middle to upper class families and those that find it normal come from lower to middle class families. Those who have house shared and scrimped and saved through uni or had groups of friends in share houses with many on unemplyment benefits/pensions/austudy/low incomes.
    I'm on a single parent payment and I'm one who finds it to be rude. I'd much rather bring a plate (with food on it lol) it just seems more polite then handing over money after a nice dinner at a friends. Like other have said if I have to hand over money I'd rather it be at a restaurant.

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    I think it's okay to ask for money but I do believe bringing a plate and asking for money are two different things.. I'm rather picky about food and would much rather buy my own food than give someone else my money for them to choose what I 'm going to eat.

  6. #66
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    Before DD we threw a lot of dinner parties and parties. I have NEVER until this day heard of anyone charging money!!!?? Omg! I'm gobsmacked! I think it's extremely rude! I would probably de-friend someone if they did that to me lol.

    Every time we get invited to dinner I always take wine or desert or both!

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  8. #67
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    Just out of interest....'dinner party' - what type of numbers are we talking?? Surely people don't charge a cost when they have a couple over for dinner? To me that would be really rude!

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    I asked hubby what he thought. He said its a great idea but not something he could do. The feeling is mutual from me

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    Everyone chipping in for a mutually decided get together is wholly different to charging people to come to dinner at your house when you have initiated the invite.

    'hey we should all get together and have a party - what do you think?' 'Sure that sounds fab, where should we have it and what should we get to eat?' 'do you want to pick up the stuff and we can have it at mine - will I give you $20 now or do you want to wait and see how much it comes to and we will all kick in?'

    Vs

    'I'd love for you to come over for a dinner party next Friday night'. 'oh that sound lovely - what can we bring?' 'Well it will be $35 a head'.

    In the first instance everyone is on the same page and it is a group decision.

    In the second, I've just invited someone over, they've said it sounds like a great idea, have been polite by offering to bring something and then I have sprung a cost on them.

    Why not just invite them to go out with you to a restaurant and split the bill in that case?

  11. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by bumMum View Post
    I think the exact opposite. I think its pretty rude to ask other people to cater for your child's party. She is only 3.

    Sent from my HTC Desire S using BubHub
    I'm not asking them to cater, just to bring a plate instead of a gift if they can. Lots of my daughters grieves have allergies and intolerances to cater for them all I'd have to do dairy free, grain free, egg free, sugar free. So not a cheap venture at all.

    What I didn't mention is that this wasn't actually my idea, I'm the meal coordinator for our local women's group and have arranged meals for these families when they've had new babies or have been struggling. It's not unusual in our group of friends to cook for each other.

    If they're going to come anyway, and they're planning on spending money on a gift then why not spend the money on a plate of food instead, as there will only be a small number of people there it wouldn't be that expensive. But as I'm paying for excess, having keys cut and recut, security upgrades to the home, replacing stolen items (insurance only covers so much), they understand that times are tight.

    And yes she's only 3 but she does know what a birthday is and just this morning DH said "it's the queens birthday" and she asked if we were going to a party to have cake.

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