i think it is rude being angry at them for not offering.
I do not see asking as "begging" or "belittling"....no more would I see it as any other negative.
I don't have family near by...but when we go to stay with them (once a year), I always ask mum to babysit for the afternoon so DH and I can go to a movie or something. My mum is staying with us this week...and I will ask her to watch the kids for a few hours one weekend so DH and I can go somewhere together...i would never expect her to offer or get cut if she didn't offer.
I have had to ask friends to babysit DS before (during IVF and also when i had some pregnancy issues and DH needed to take me to hospital)...and never did i feel like I was begging or somehow demeaning myself. I take care of one of my friends son often during the school holidays (she works, i don't) and she asks me each term ... i do not see her as begging either.
I think it is perception...asking for help is not an awful thing...the strongest people i know ask and accept help all the time.
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11-06-2012 20:00 #61Senior Member
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truely blessed (11-06-2012)
11-06-2012 20:16 #62Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
I don't think it's selfish to wish for someone to look after your children and for you to get a break/honeymoon. But you do need I ask, it isn't fair to presume/expect out children to be looked after when you don't ask. I often have the same problem as you - my SIL gets an unbelievable amount of help with her kids and I get not much - but I never ask, and everytime I have asked I have got help - its just that everyone assumes we are coping/don't need help (even with a DH that travels 1 month every 2 months).... I guess I do cope - but sometimes I should not be so proud and ask. I think this applies to you too.
11-06-2012 20:37 #63
11-06-2012 20:51 #64
sucks they haven't offered...
but, I agree - lack of communication leads to confusion and anger.
14-06-2012 07:12 #65
Obviously anytime I need time away I'll need to ask. Which I find hard to do...so it probably won't happen.
Thankfully I have a 15 year old now so going out for a coffee is ok...I just wouldn't leave her here overnight...can't wait for the day when I can! LOL
I just don't like asking...I don't know why. I think the same as Delirium where I expect that people are observant and assume we'd like some time away and be nice/kind enough to offer...and would WANT to watch the kids...being family and all. No I haven't offered to watch their kids.....cos they don't have any LOL I'm the only one! But as soon as one pops out a kid...quess what I'll be doing?? LOL
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