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  1. #11
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    I'm quite happy if they say "no" because it indicates that they weren't pressured by the request.

    I was brought up with the concept that, "it never hurts to ask", but if someone always says "yes" then I'll stop asking that person for favours because I will fear that they are someone who feels obliged to help when asked. Conversely, someone that says "no" I'm happy to ask again in future, because they are answering honsestly whether or not they are prepared to help at that time.

    My concept is to ask and expect a "no". That way if you get it a "yes" it is a pleasant surprize.

    =================

    I'm also one that would often be happy to help but reluctant to offer for fear of offending the other party. So I'll ask for help but I'll usually not offer unless someone is in a rather desperate position.

  2. #12
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    I guess that's why I suggested just putting it on Facebook as a non-direct question, that way those who want to help can approach you?

    I don't feel bad asking my Mum as she'll say if she has something else to do and she enjoys having him and spending time with him. If I had others to ask, I'd probably feel a bit awkward but needs must!

  3. #13
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    I hate asking people for stuff. I'm very independent and always have been but I've asked my parents to look after DD when DH and I went and saw Nitro Circus. She was 10 weeks old and only slept 30 minutes in 6.5 hours for them. So not an easy night for them

    I've only ever looked after my friends little girl when they asked. So after me prattling on I guess asking is my advice to

  4. #14
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    Yep I asked both my n DH parents to look after our DD for our honeymoon. Both had her for a few days. That was for a week to and they had no issue.
    I wouldn't expect anyone to offer so I ask.

    Maybe they don't offer as they don't know it would only b the two kids.

    But def not selfish u need a break

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  6. #15
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    Nope not selfish at all. I feel your pain lol we have family living here and they NEVER offer to take the kids. One of my SIL's until recently was more than happy for us to take her kids almost all the holidays with lots of sleep overs and having them 2 days straight. They would go out to parties and functions and we again took her kids. But when I asked her to return the favour she was always 'busy'. So I gave up asking and she has never once offered.

    It sucks

  7. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    But why should I have to ask? I don't like asking...because then I feel like I'm putting people out. Is that what other people do? Go around asking their family when they want some time away? Do other people's families offer?
    If you don't ask, how are people supposed to know? Sorry, but I don't think it's fair of you to expect people to just sort of know what you want them to do. Some people may feel it would be presumptuous to offer to take your kids overnight too. We have 3 kids and no one has ever just offered to take all 3. 6 kids might be too much for someone to babysit- I know I wouldn't have room! Maybe do what PP's have said and see if a few freinds or family members can share them out?
    If you want people to help then I think it's up to you to ask. By the way, I don't think it's selfish AT ALL for you to want a weekend away!

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  9. #17
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    I have a brother who is a frequent asker "can you watch miss c while I do xyz" and we never say no but when the shoes on the other foot it's a different story. So now when he asks I say oh that's fine but can you take the older 2 or the babies for an hour and I'll take miss c that day.

  10. #18
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    Ask family?? I just TELL them when they are babysitting

  11. #19
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    See we are one of those really lucky families that have a village. My mum has offered to take the three kudos all day tomorrow so I can get some studying done. But a whole weekend or even overnight we would need to ask.

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  13. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    I even had family ask "Are you going on a honeymoon?" "Er no...cos we have the kids" "Well that's a shame!"
    I think that's the problem right there. They probably think you're not wanting to go without them. If your answer was "we need someone to mind the kids" then they would know you need someone. They also wouldn't know that you would plan it for a weekend when 4 kids are with their Dad, and I think most people would be overwhelmed at the thought of 6 (and may not think about splitting them).

    So no, I don't think you are selfish in wanting people to ask/offer, but I think people rarely do. Everyone is so wrapped up in their own lives these days, they probably haven't thought of asking as if it was me, I would assume you would organise it if you wanted to go away. So ask I say!


 

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