Hi Brussels, I really hope you find a way to talk to him about it ~ you seem very good at explaining how you feel in here, and he's probably feeling the loss of 'home time' too. I am, at least, glad to hear he is doing a job he loves ~ that is IMhO so, so important. Please try talking to him! Cheers, M.
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09-06-2012 18:18 #21
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09-06-2012 18:51 #22
We are SO good at talking, we do as much as we can when we see each other.
He's a very good communicator...
Today he took the kids all morning while I studied then he had me booked in for a facial and massage!
He's pretty awesome (hence why I miss him so much!)
09-06-2012 23:07 #23
Hope you enjoyed the massage. Wow...he sounds like a great partner, and at least he's trying to make sure you get a little pampering. Ican see why you'd miss him so. Try to remember it's only temporary, all this extra work...
Seems you've also struck a chord with many people who's partners work heaps, too.
10-06-2012 00:40 #24-
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Home, where my life lies waiting, silently, for me.
We both worked crazy hours before kids (weds-sat I worked 5pm-5am night shift, and often 1pm-4pm as well, and DH had rotating 12 hrs shifts 6 days a week)
Now DH is often up really late at night. His mother died in March, and since then hes came to bed with me maybe 3 times. He is having trouble sleeping, and sometimes comes in at 4am, then gets up with DD at 7ish while Im needing at least 10 hrs overnight atm.
10-06-2012 09:13 #25
Finally back to reply properly!
My DH travels a lot, often 3-4 nights a week. I know this is a choice we've both made, and there are plenty of reasons for it that look good in theory... but the reality can really blow sometimes.
I have very strict routines on the nights he's away; I try to get homework, dinner, baths etc done as early and with as little fuss as possible. I tend to plan really easy meals for those nights, things that don't require me to be constantly in the kitchen like an simple pasta or frozen fish. If I've had a particularly full-on week I might get a takeaway one night.
I also try to enjoy my evening by doing something I wouldn't do with him around. So once the children are asleep I'll watch a trashy show or rom-com I've been waiting to see, or play X-Box, or sit on BubHub. Occasionally I'll invite a friend over, which I would ordinarily never do on a weeknight. That way I have something positive to associate with him being gone.
I think it's important to define your limits, how much you can handle and for how long. DH's travel is now manageable for me; while it has its difficult moments, it could go on indefinitely. However we've been in situations that were not viable, and DH has made career changes along the way to address this. It's much easier to accept that life will be tough for a limited time if there's a reward or promise of change at the end. Do you think things will get easier next year? Are you prepared to continue this way if they don't?
Last edited by lambjam; 10-06-2012 at 09:16.
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