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    Default 4 year old boy..normal?

    Just wanting to ask..I have a friend who has a son 4yrs..hes very intense..climbs on things..tables..window ledge..even when told not to will still do it..even at resteraunts..he throws stuff..heavy things at his mum..and guests..like me..I got hit in the head with an object yesterday..he yells ..screams..won't listen..yells at me..turns tables over..

    is this what 4yrs boys do?

    Is there something more going on?

    Don't get me wrong..he can be lovely..but most of the time he is just mad!!

    thanks!!

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    HugsBunny is offline Once upon a time there was a bunny.........
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    No that's not just what 4yo boys do from my experience.

    At the risk of incurring the wrath of bub hub land, I'd suggest that perhaps your friend needs to set stronger boundaries and be committed to helping her son change his behaviour.

    I suppose there could be something more going on but I don't have any experience in that field.

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    Maybelline  (08-06-2012)

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    Theophania is offline 'see what had happened was..there were these three ninjas and a blue monkey and well it really wasn't my fault..'
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    That doesn't sound normal to me at all. There could be so many reasons why he is acting like that. Underlying medical condidtion, diet (intollerances etc), things going on at home??? I would suggest your friend takes him to the GP for some further advice.

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    I have two boys and that behaviour sounds quite extreme!!

    At times my younger DS throws things when angry but things like his shoes or a toy - he certainly doesn't throw around furniture!

    Can I ask what your friend does when he doesn't follow her instructions? Is there punishment or is it just empty threats? Does the child not stop because there is no punishment?

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    I am now looking up stuff on internet..bad i know..but ADHD kinda sounds like..

    He has a great home environment..eats very healthy..mostly..
    His parents are fabulous..loving ..kind ..intelligent..

    no major red flags with them at all...

    I was there yesterday ..and was just watching him go crazy..and he does this so much!!

    I feel for his folks!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by JaneDoe View Post
    I have two boys and that behaviour sounds quite extreme!!

    At times my younger DS throws things when angry but things like his shoes or a toy - he certainly doesn't throw around furniture!

    Can I ask what your friend does when he doesn't follow her instructions? Is there punishment or is it just empty threats? Does the child not stop because there is no punishment?
    i think it's called 1 2 3 magic..what she does...
    time out in room for 4 min..(he goes wild in there though)..
    she also has a 8 month old girl ..so her time is limited..and yes he was like this before baby arrived..but more so as he has gotten older..

    because i have a girl..i don't know what is normal for boys..

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    My son exhibited this type of behaviour between 2.5 and 3. It was very challenging, and stuff like time out doesn't work for him at all.

    At 3.5, he still has his moments, but has stopped being violent and is fine in public and with other people (as in he tends to have his tantrums and meltdowns just around us). And then just random defiant stuff. For example, yesterday while I was at work, and my partner was washing the dishes, he found a nikko pen and drew on the couch. But prior to that he's never really drawn on anything but paper, or occasionally the table.

    Anyway, if at 4, my son was consistently acting in the way you describe in the OP, i would seek out some behavioural advice and also go to a dr or child health nurse to discuss development etc with a view to assess for disorders.

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    I really don't think it's up to you to self examine another parent's child, I mean what is it going to accomplish, i'd be pretty upset if a friend approched me with the prospect that my child may have some kind of behaviour disorder. But, yes I know kids that are just as full on as the one you have described, my eldest is very intense, and has done most of the behaviour you have mentioned, and I don't think he has any behaviour issues, he is just a very intense little boy, he is turning 5 soon and has pretty outgrown this kind of behaviour, but still has days where he is hard to control.

    He could have underlying problems, but I don't really think there is much you can do expect offer the mum support when he is acting out, maybe take the child for a walk or something if it is in a public place and he is having a melt down, but I definietly wouldn't be suggesting to the mother to get him checked out.

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    Maybelline  (08-06-2012)

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    I would never suggest her to get him checked...she has discussed that she is lost with him sometimes...also this age sometimes it's testosterone surges or something....

    I am just feeling concerned ...

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    Hmm, I have three boys and two girls and there is no way they would get away with doing that - particularly in a restaurant! I dare to say that is how some kids (boys AND girls) would behave if they didn't have appropriate boundaries.

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