I agree that we do put everyone first besides ourselves, I had serious morning sickness up till 14 weeks (I was vomiting up to 7 times a day and ended up in the emergency ward) and even now at 25 weeks if hubby has an early start (get up before 6.30am) bub doesn't seem to like it and I find myself vomiting for the day as I ALWAYS get up for him before work and cook him breakfast and pack his lunch. I don't think he will get me jewellery for a push present but I dare say he will bring flowers or something. If he did bring me a big diamond ring OR any other gift I would be ecstatic, simply that he took the time to think of me. I actually tend to prefer gifts from the heart though to be honest.
All of our family that visit will probably bring flowers and a gift for bub to the hospital. I don't expect it but I think it is lovely all the same.
My hubby is european and as such for weddings/baby showers etc his family give tremendously. We didn't do a gift registry for our wedding, so we were given money. I have done a gift registry for my baby shower, as I simply know that it is expected. I have no problem with it, and yes, I AM waiting to buy a lot of items as I don't know what will be bought for bubs at the shower. I recognise not everyone operates that way (I am australian, and my family don't) and that's fine too.
I think it is up to the individual and their circumstances as to what is given or received. We are all different, and that's why it is ok whether you get one or not, and not up to anyone else to judge
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08-06-2012 09:38 #111
08-06-2012 09:46 #112
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08-06-2012 10:16 #113
Stoopid name, but lovely idea.
Why shouldn't a mum who has endured 40 weeks of pregnancy and birth get a lovely present from her partner, friends and family as a congratulations and recognition for her hard work? We are frigging amazing! And men who recognise this with a little pressie or a lovely card or a beautiful sentiment are awesome.
DH is making me a picnic hamper with brie, marinated goats cheese fetta, pate, crackers and sushi.
08-06-2012 10:28 #114
You know, when you have worked somewhere for a substantial period of time and then leave, usually you are given a gift and a card by your colleagues. Now you could argue that you got paid for the work so that should be reward enough meaning a gift is redundant.
But it's recognition of your contribution and the value you have added to the lives of your colleagues.
If you think about it, in many situations where a person has done something of value they are "rewarded" and recognised in some way that is actually "unnecessary".
I agree it doesn't have to be an expensive gift. It doesn't have to be a gift at all. It can just be a lovely card or a beautifully expressed sentiment. But there needs to be some recognition of what an amazing job mothers do. Maybe expecting this would be the first step in creating a cultural shift about society's perception of the value and worth of mothers.
08-06-2012 12:49 #115Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2007
I asked for presents each time! Before DS was born we went to the jeweller together. I told DH it was too expensive but he went and had a ring made anyway and gave it to me after DS was born. Lovely surprise since I thought we decided against it. After DD was born I went to the jeweller on my own, designed another ring and rang DH and told him I had ordered it! Do I seem selfish? Probably... but these were things I wanted. I could have got them at any othr time, for no apparent reason but I decided that it would be nice to wait for an 'occasion'. Just like the fact that I have been wanting to remodel my engagement ring because I was never quite happy with the way it was made, so I have waited until now when our 10 year wedding anniversary is coming up and I'm going to see about doing it for that. Do I not deserve nice things? If I didn't have children I would do these things so why should being a mother stop me? (finances aside). My jewellery is mine and I'm not ashamed by that.. my daughter will get whatever she wants of mine when the time comes but I sure hope she collects some of her own in her lifetime too!!
08-06-2012 15:47 #116
I love celebrations! We celebrate just about everything here.
But celebrating someone or something doesn't require a gift. Not here anyway.
Sure we do the gift thing for certain occassions, but the idea of being given anything for bringing a life into world well,that just cheapens the significance of the event.
But again, that's just me.
08-06-2012 15:52 #117
08-06-2012 15:55 #118Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
*sigh* I don't see the need for people to be so rude for how others choose to celebrate or show their appreciation. It's not (IMO) 'cheap' if a mother receives her eternity ring on the day she gives birth - for a heck of a lot of people this is tradition.
My DP is a gift giver, which is strange to me because I've never really known such a gift giver as him. I love it - the gifts don't have to be expensive, my favourite mother's day present this year was when he made dinner for me BUT I don't frown upon nor call people names who do not give each other presents, I don't see why people can't seem to accept that others do it differently.
It's how my DP shows that he cares. Difference is, I don't tell others that their DH doesn't care if they DON'T give gifts. For crying out loud this comes up in every mothers day thread, haven't we got it out of our system yet. I agree with misskitty - no significant event in a woman's life shall be celebrated with gifts rofl.
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08-06-2012 16:03 #119
The contention this topic causes will never cease to amaze me. The only thing about "push presents" that I object to is the name.
Because who am I to object to how another family demonstrates their celebration, commemoration or appreciation?
For heaven's sake
Last edited by lambjam; 08-06-2012 at 16:37.
08-06-2012 16:26 #120
For me it depends on the definition of push present- it it a gift from the spouse, or does it include things like flowers and cards etc from family and friends?
If its the former then no I have never received one and no I don't want to and personally don't see the point in them. But if other people want to them great for them! If its the latter then yeah, I have received cards from family and friends and occaisionally flowers. But they have always been addressed to both DH and myself don't don't think they can be classed as push presents- seen as though he didn't do any pushing lol.
I like the idea, I just don't like the idea for me personally.
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