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05-06-2012 13:35 #11-
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
05-06-2012 13:36 #12Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2010
Ours isn't any different... If anything I would say its stronger
05-06-2012 13:39 #13
Better as we've grown into adults, but the same level of love and friendship.
He's my best friend
05-06-2012 13:39 #14Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
My relationship with ex was the same but having a child certainly highlighted the inequalities in our relationship - housework, finances etc.
My DP has never known me without my DS. Will be interesting when we have one of our own.
05-06-2012 13:41 #15has left the building
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
I don't think it is better or worse, just different. It's still strong and happy but obviously adding children has changed things somewhat.
The Following User Says Thank You to MothersMilk For This Useful Post:
05-06-2012 13:43 #16
The worst here.
DH is amazing father and we parent the same but we have grown apart and fight a lot. We have been having date nights again but it's not him it's me. I've changed SO much to before I was a Mum.
05-06-2012 14:06 #17
Still love him, but we can't seem to go three days without fighting anymore.
Having kids really highlighted the problems in our relationship. Not only that, but we were/are young parents, DD wasn't planned, and we are both (me moreso though) still growing and changing as people. We're figuring out how to do that, but stay together. It's hard.
05-06-2012 14:10 #18Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
its nice to hear that some ppls relationship got better. i guess that what we all hope will happen.
many things ppl have said i can totally relate to;waterliy u made such a good point. ive changed as well and actually never really thought about it in that way....im so not into senseless nights on the booze, that has NO appeal to me yet DH still goes overboard with that...i put my foot down but a little while he had a dig about it...everything i do motsly is in relation to the kids....yet DH still tends to think of things as to how they will or wont be good / bad for HIM..i hate that!!!!!!!! realllllllly gets to me.....he just cant see how his behavior etc can influence kids etc...i mean he is quite good with the kids etc but he still has this big selfish thing that i cant tolerate anymore. ie we desperately need fencing on this property for kids saftey yet his priorty has been to do up a bar area taht he wants to claim as his own and then talks about borrowing money to renovate HIS bathroom....im like WTF.
and yes highlights the inequalities, DH has no trouble pointing out how i dont pull my weight but he forgets there are 2 new ppl in the house and the worklaod has increased and he hasnt adjusted to this himself....it got to the point with his nagging me that i gave up fighting back..but i decided that i didnt want to be silent anymore i felt he was beating me down into submission with his crititcism so i have started giving it back again.
anyway im sorry if myexamples seem trivial but to me they piont to the underlying principle that i still find him selfsh / family values and its dawned on me that my DH is quite chanvanistic in his attitude about housework / being a SAHM mean u do ALL housework...= inequalities = not very nice qualities = losing the love.
i should add dh and i have been together for about 16 years....maybe weve grown apart....
thanks...i havent been able to tell anyone IRL about these feelings ive been haiving and dont know what to do about them...i never thought it would be possible to lose interest in him
05-06-2012 14:26 #19
I'd say we are as strong as ever but we've been parents for 6 yrs now and were together for about 10 before that, so we know each other very well.
Sometimes its darn hard work and you really have to work together, I can see why so many ppl do separate.
Its important for us to be strong/united as a couple so we make time for each other, have date nights etc.
A big factor for us for deciding to have #3 was DH felt he was just getting me back as a wife/lover, sometimes I find it so hard to take the Mummy hat off and just be me.
05-06-2012 14:41 #20
Ours got worse after the birth of our first daughter. It was a mix of both of our faults.
We separated for a year and it was the best thing we ever did! Since getting back together 3 years ago, our relationship has gone from strength to strength. Yes we still have our moments but we know how to communicate and deal with it better. We know how to show each other we appreciate each other. He still has the odd go at me about the house being messy, or whatever, and I still have a go at him about not helping as much as he should. We say things we don't mean and then calm down and get over it, and it's like it never happened.
After the birth of our second daughter our relationship was probably the best it's ever been.
People tell me they wish their relationship was like ours- we take time for us as a couple, even if it's just sitting on the couch with the tv after kids are in bed. We are best friends as well as husband and wife, and we balance each other perfectly. I remind them that no relationship is without its flaws. We have been to hell and back. Been through more then most people would in a lifetime in the 6 years we have been together. We have has to prove ourselves and put love to everyone from day one and everything we have been through is why we are how we are.
Last edited by SheWarrior; 05-06-2012 at 15:02.
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