im new here but been reading for a while.
i currently unsure about my rerlationship...since we had children who are under 3yo my feelings for DH have changed a lot...and not really for the better i have to admit. it took us a long time TTC, was quite stressful.
i was wondering..what has happned to others? is it just being tired and busy all the time, will it change when we can be a couple again?
i just find my DH is critical a lot, he seems negative, there always seems to be one of us on the defense about something...my DH for example cristicies my messiness...its so annoying as if he is perfect and when i point out his messiness he blantantly denies it...if i ask my DH for something often its with rolled eyes or barely concealed contempt....sometimes we have different parenting styles and i dont like what he does....there just seems no respect no friendliness, my DH seems to resent me..i dont know? we dont seem to have anything in common now..b4 kids we could go away weekends etc but now it seems like we actually have little of common interest at all.....lately ive been feeling like i dont love him anymore and wonder about leaving thinking i would be happier without him and or have the oppurtunity to find someone who has silmilar values and outlook....??? im confused....have other felt this way with a young family and dod it change??
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05-06-2012 10:43 #1Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
is your relationship better or worse since you had children???
05-06-2012 12:00 #2
We have definitley changed for the worse. We're a young family, both 25 with a soon to be 1 year old.
DF is always negative towards dd. She is whingy, but shes teething and he doesnt understand any of it. He doesnt get that im tired and im sh¡tty because hes changed and doesnt even hold my hand anymore or tell me im beautiful.
I could go on, i just need a good vent to someone who will listen but i think ive crashed enough...sorry
Id be very surprised at anyones r'ship that hasnt changed...for better or worse!
Every single rship changes
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05-06-2012 12:05 #3
Ours has gotten worse. Dh is very hard on ds, but he doesn't see it and it definitely causes tension between us. I think also our sex life suffers too usually because I am tired and just not into it and when you aren't intimate for a long time things can go pear shaped.
05-06-2012 12:09 #4
It has definitely changed, not for better or worse. It's just different, which is inevitable with 2 kids
05-06-2012 12:15 #5
Some aspects have changed for the worst (though it's to do with my attitude, not DH's and it's something I really need to work on), but in other respects it's changed for the better.
Either way, it's certainly not the same as it was, but I do feel that we'll get it back pretty close one day . It's hard when much of your day is taken up with entertaining and looking after a toddler.
I think DH and I really need to organise more date nights that will hopefully improve our intimacy.
05-06-2012 12:28 #6-
- Join Date
- Sep 2010
My relationship is better!
Our lives have been so enriched since having kids.
Of course we aren't perfect though
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05-06-2012 12:30 #7
Ours changed for the worse. Obviously seeing as how it's ended. I sometimes wonder if XH felt I had pushed him into having children as when I fell pregnant he suggested a termination and I told him if he didn't want it that was fine, I would do it on my own and he didn't have to be involved.
05-06-2012 12:36 #8
Mine changed for the worse, even though dd and ds were very planned I dont think xdh was ready to be a father (he still isn't imo) . Also I think after you have children you are less tolerant to all their c**p they expect you to put up with lol.
With xdh I felt like I was his mother too, I'm hoping things with dp will be different, we're a great team, we both give and take iykwim ?
05-06-2012 12:37 #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2012
Our relationship is better we do sill go through rough patches though but i think it has brought us closer together we are now ttc #2 and couldn't be happier i hope it stays that way!
05-06-2012 12:51 #10
Is it weird that I don't think our relationship has changed?? Perhaps I'm in denial haha. Obviously our daily routine/activities/past-times have changed but I think we interact the same way we ever did.
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