Was wondering if there were any other ladies out their that were thinking about TTC in the future with a problem similar to mine. My DH and I have a 1 in 4 chance of our babies having a genetic problem. I would love to have another bub but am not sure if it is the 'right' thing to do. I am quite torn about how I feel. Is there anyone else that is in the same boat as me or has been though this in the past. Would love to listen to any thoughts/decisions you made etc
+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 5 of 5
04-06-2012 22:16 #1
Genetic problems .... anyone else thinking about TTC ??
20-06-2012 14:56 #2
I have 3 children, 2 of them have autism. I have a 1 in 4 chance that the next child will have autism (some say higher).
We made the decision to start trying for another anyway.
It took a long time to decide, and I still wonder if we should be trying, but I know I will always regret not trying.
My kids are high functioning though, and while they have a lot of struggles, they should lead independent lives as adults. If the condition was worse, I might not be so keen to tempt fate.
It's a tough decision to make.
The Following User Says Thank You to mel04 For This Useful Post:
20-06-2012 20:46 #3
My mother has a genetic neurological condition called Huntingtons Disease. There is a 50% chance that I have it. There is also a 50% chance that (if I have it) any child I have will be born with it.
For a few different reasons I have made the decision NOT to be tested. If I have it, there's nothing anyone can do about it - there is no cure - so I really don't want to know. The disease presents itself somewhere between 50 and 70 years old, it's known as an "elderly disease". This was a big factor in DH and I deciding to try for baby #1. We thought that we would regret giving up a possible 50 - 70 healthy years for our child for a "maybe" IYKWIM? Our DD is nearly 2 and we are thinking of trying for #2.
It is a decision that is SO hard to make. I often wonder if I've done the right thing... Until I look at DD. then I KNOW I've done the right thing. But everyone feels differently. I guess you just have to weigh up quality of life and longevity and don't regret the decision once its made.
I also have a lot of faith in medical research. The things that they can do with stem cells are AMAZING and offer so much hope for those of us with genetic conditions. I often think, if the absolute worst should happen, a cure may be just around the corner
Or I could be hit by a bus tomorrow
The Following User Says Thank You to eviezmum For This Useful Post:
26-06-2012 00:01 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
It takes all kinds to make up our funny little world.
Don't feel guilty about having the choice to give life.
I don't envy you having to make this tough choice, but in the end, those that are born with the worst illness's always have a 'fighter' personality.
They find happiness wherever possible. No matter how simple it is.
Those around them, stop taking life for granted. They start to slow down and enjoy what they have.
Depending on the condition, you might have an everyday/24 hour struggle or you may just have to consider the shortening of your child's life. But either way, there are positives and negatives. But I do not believe you should not have a child because you 'don't want to inflict that kind of life on them'..
Do what you can handle. Children are resilient and will work it out.
Could you spend some time with children/parents who have the same condition you are concerned about? This may help you decide.
The Following User Says Thank You to MsImpatient For This Useful Post:
22-08-2012 21:36 #5
A big THANKYOU to all the lovely ladies that have responded to my post from 2 1/2 months ago. I have wanted to respond to you earlier but I have had computer problems and have only been able to get onto bub hub quickly at a friends or at work (which meant I didnt have much time to really post what I wanted).
MsImpatient - your advise is so deep. This might sound funny but you sound very wise and I feel like you know exactly where I am coming from. If our babies have our genetic condition it means that either bubs will be still born or will only live for a few weeks/months. It is also extremely rare so spending time with other similar families/children is not an option (although a good idea).
Eviesmum - Your "bus" statement is so true and it does help to put things into perspective. I am sorry to hear about your mother. I have a friend that is going through genetic counselling at the moment as her mother has just been diagnosed with Huntingtons as well. She is like you and is not going to get tested. Stay strong
Mel04 - My very close friend has a son with autism and she is one of the strongest and most understanding person I know. I am convinced it takes a very special mum/dad to raise any child with autism or a disability or gentic condition. Good luck with your next TTC journey. Its a mixed bag isnt it??? Exciting but also nerve racking xxoo
I have noticed that your partners all seem to support your decision. My DH is still not convinced and I think he struggles to talk to me about it. He is worried about our genetic condition but is also thinking about the lifestyle change with a new bub (and the dynamics of 3 kids) - where I would LOVE 3 kids.
I am still not convinced my decision is the right one.......... but I really do want to try for another bub. It is still hard not to feel guilty about it as I know how extremely lucky I am to have my 2 gorgeous daughters. I dont want to look back when I am over 40 and beat myself up about not giving it a go. But I also dont want to get to the stage where if we find out our bub is sick and I think "what the h3ll have I done??" I guess if we are lucky enough to fall pregnant I just have to think of the positives (like 75% chance of a healthy bub and not the other way around)
House Call DoctorHouse Call Doctor can provide an urgent after-hours visit to you and your family, when urgent medical situations arise ...
LATESTToilet training: when is the best time to start?Why it is OK for your child to be differentWhat is a blessing way? How is it different to a baby shower?
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
Egg Donation in South Africa #14Egg Donation
IVF Babies due August/Sept/Oct' 16 #4pregnancy and babies through IVF
Dr Antony Lighten - Appreciation threadpregnancy and babies through IVF
Career change - good idea?Working Hubbers - Employed
Situations - ok or not ok?General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
Am I the only thread killer??General Chat