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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by HarvestMoon View Post
    I personally completely disagree with that. I had my dad in my life until i was 11 so i knew who he was and what he was like. It never fazed him when i was longer able to see him
    Friends who had grown up never knowing or so much as meeting their dad's constantly wondered who he was? what he was like? did he have another family? do i have siblings i don't know?.
    I think it would be harder being in their shoes.

    True, I was only speculating in response to this "so many people on here mention how unfair it is to deny them a relationship".

    I lived with my dad until age five, then he became a Disneyland dad. I didn't really miss him when he wasn't around as our life became more stable. No more moving houses/schools, my mum was more content and we could see he was trying to manipulate her through us (threatening to keep us at hand over etc).

  2. #22
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    I do.

    It's not official though, because there are no documents in place stating that she is to be only in my care or anything, he father just absconded like the pathetic little worm he is and so she's been with only me since.

    How does she feel about it? Well, I think right now she doesn't really think much about it at all, but I'm sure a time will come when it's an issue. A father abandoning a child that was a part of his life is not something that will have no affect on her I'm sure. For now though, I think it's a minor sadness when she thinks of him.

    She's been in my care solely since the end of 2008.

  3. #23
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    I have but its not offical. After 8 years my ex just walked and we haven't heard a word in a year now. It has devistated my daughter (4) and the boys (7 and 11) just don't care anymore.

    Sent from my ZTE T60 using BubHub

  4. #24
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    I have it's not official. Ds is almost 3 and sees him once every 3-6 months

    After seeing him ds is naughty and Very emotional for a week or so. He doesn't talk very much but I don't think he deals with it well.

    I wish his father was less of a douche and actually made the effort with him, because it breaks my heart to see him that upset.

    It's been like that since ds was 7 days old.

  5. #25
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    How long has it been that way?
    I have sole custody of my three older kids (20, 15 and 10) although technically not really the 20 year old lol. I've had sole custody of them all their lives. With my 5 year old I'm not sure what you'd call it. The father takes him one night per week most of the time but I have full financial responsibility etc.

    How do you feel about it?
    It has never bothered me that I have sole custody - although that's not a legal diagnosis of the situation, just that the fathers have never been around.

    With the youngest one it's a bit of a pain in the @ss having that responsibility to him as I can't do much because he turns everything into an issue. It's frustrating because most of my decisions can't be anything that comes under his radar.

    How does your child (or children) feel about it?
    My kids couldn't give a flying toss about it! I don't think they even understand the concept of custody as it's not something I've ever talked about infront of them.

  6. #26
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    My DD has just turned 2 and only ever seen her dad once when she was 6 months he has no intrest in seeing her haven't heard from him since and when I did it was just to threaten me he lived 20mins away and never saw her I don't mind tho he wasn't a very nice person tried to make me have an abortion and pushed me when I was preggers with her hoping I'd miscarriage my DD doesn't care I don't think she at the age to really care dont think she even remembers him I used to care made me really upset cause I wanted a "proper" family until I realized my DD and I are a proper family

  7. #27
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    I do but it's not official ds hasn't seen his dad since aged 7 , he's 10 now. I think he gets sad about it sometimes...

  8. #28
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    Sorry for butting in, but I just wanted to say something about the comment on most people on here saying its unfair to keep kids from their dads.
    When I say it (and I believe when most of us say it) we are talking about the situation where the father wants to have access and while not being a fabo parent, is not actually a bad person. Nobody would suggest it is unfair to keep kids from a bad or unfit father. Its unfair when we keep our kids from our exes due to our own personal feelings of them being a$$holes. I often wish my ex would move to Scotland to live with his new (internet) wife and leave us alone, however he wont as he does love the kids and it would be sad for them to not have him around.


 

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