So I just need to get this out.
The past month has been so hard with alot happening in my private life that has left me well, shattered.
I was coping with everything ok until yesterday while I was doing the dishes I just broke down. I became numb and I cried for what felt like forever. Followed by an anxiety attack. I have been losing so much sleep and waking up in random panics.
Having suffered PND after DD1 it took me a long time to finally feel happy and be able to bond with DD1 and feel recovered and no long have the need for meds. I was going GREAT!
Anyway, after how ever long it took me to become a rational person again yesterday I spent the rest of the evening crying on and off over little non-important things such as past issues of guilt about DD1 etc.
Today I took DD1 and DD2 to kindergym and DD1 was acting up. I was getting some terrible looks from other parents. Like real why arent you shutting your child up kind of looks. Some nice glares. One parent even made a nasty comment. So I spent the whole time there with tears in my eyes trying not to cry again infront of all these people.
I just feel as though I have fallen apart, I have been broken. And as far as being able to cope I cant and DP is just laughing it all off as though it doesnt matter.
So I had made a dr appointment and according to my gp I have "relapsed" as my he put it. Depression and anxiety is now my new enemy and I have to battle with again. Its never ending.
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30-05-2012 16:17 #1
Hello Depression my old friend (warning long)
30-05-2012 17:22 #2Junior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
I totally understand your situation. I too have recently had a relapse (my 1st one). I had PND and anxiety with both my boys. Ds1 is now 6 and ds2 is 2. It's not easy and your not alone. Use your resources and support around you as much as you can. I have thrown myself into getting better again and finding as much help as I can such as going back on my meds and this time I am planning on staying on them till ds2 is in primary school. Joining PND mums well being groups, go and psychs. Talking to all my friends, family and partner about it. Just letting them be aware of the situation. By talking openly about it I have now discovered that two mums from ds1 school are in the same boat as me. It is a relief because we can help each other for support. As for the mum who made that rude comment to you, you should tell her in private that you did not appreciate it and not to judge people before without even knowing them on a personal level. Even speak to the organiser, I'm sure they will understand and will be able to help with ds1 if she plays up again.
Just go with your gut instinct and just give it a try to sort it out. Maybe start writing things down or start a journal. Big hugs, always here to help and listen.
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30-05-2012 18:05 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2005
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30-05-2012 20:27 #4
You did fabulously by going to the GP's. I know you are feeling really low at the moment but in you post it really came across that you are a great Mum, even in your ability to act so fast and seek help. Don't give up your social things like kindygym (not that you said you would but it's how I have felt before with anxiety) because of a few glares, do what the pp suggested in talking to the instructors I hope you feel closer to coping soon.
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