I wouldn't end a friendship with a mum bc of different parenting styles... unless it was something really extreme like beating her kids. Even then I would be reaching out to her to offer some support.
But I had a friend that parented polar opposite to me. She CC'ed. Put her kids to bed at 5pm for a break and expected them to stay there. Ironically I ended the friendship, not bc of her choices but the fact she judged *me* bc I didn't do the above, go figure. She would constantly criticise my parenting saying I was over anxious and over protective. Coupled with her interfering in my marriage, I couldn't handle it anymore.
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30-05-2012 19:54 #31
30-05-2012 20:13 #32
I've lost friends over small differences in parenting which I find silly. I find SIL parenting on par with my narcissistic mothers, i find a lot of her style to be selfish so it totally rubs me up the wrong way.
30-05-2012 20:21 #33-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
30-05-2012 20:27 #34
Blame gets nothing. This happened all the time with a school mum at the shaft of the year although she went one step further and after ever tiff the
Kids had she would verbally blame my dd for it all. We're no longer friends. Though the girls still play at school.
I don't care what a parent does as long as it doesn't negatively affect us. If it did then I would question the friendship.
30-05-2012 21:27 #35
30-05-2012 21:52 #36
i couldn't give a rats' a$$ how my friends parent their children. they are my friends for different reasons and how they raise their children is completely up to them.
the only time i have ever said anything was when my bf told me she lets her 4 kids (age 2-8) go and play down at the water dam by themselves. to me that was a danger issue and i said it more for my peace of mind than anything as i know she has a different parenting style to me.
if someone hurts my child, i tell that child off. i'm not going to end a friendship simply because the parent doesn't jump in first.
30-05-2012 22:21 #37Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
I don't agree with hitting kids but I have friends who smack. I don't agree with CIO but have friends that do, and who suggest my 15mo might actually sttn if I let him CIO. I don't take their advice but nor do I start a debate over it. I know I won't change their minds any more than I would change mine. One thing I find really hard is friends who have kids that are mean, intimidating and/or bullies. Usually in my experience their parents don't even notice the behaviour. The other thing I find really difficult is parents who prioritise their pets over their kids, as in, keep a dog that has bitten their kid several times. I don't want my kid going there as I'm scared he will get bitten. And I know if my kid was savaged they still wouldn't get rid of the dog. I have withdrawn a bit from those friends. We are still mates but I try to do catch ups on neutral ground where dogs aren't allowed eg playgrounds
31-05-2012 05:04 #38
31-05-2012 05:54 #39
With sleep, or play, and things like that I'm a bit meh. I know a lot of mums who co-sleep where as I am more of a routine, in your bed, kind of person. None of that difference annoys me.
But when it comes to discipline? Yep! Mostly because there is an overlap, if our kids are playing together its very hard to not get annoyed if I pull my kid up for hitting and the other parent shrugs it off with a "kids will be kids."
So essentially no, friends parenting styles don't worry me. Until it impacts on my kid.
31-05-2012 07:40 #40Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2011
I shut up unless I was asked for my opinion.
The only time I ever said anything was when a friend asked me if I think they damage their kids by smacking them and I answered. It came after they smacked them in front of DS1 and he got really upset when they cried and I told him what happened, their daddy smacked them and they're crying because it hurt them. I hate the fact they smack their kids in front of DS :-( (well I hate the fact they smack at all, but u hate that he sees it as normal behaviour that people do).
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