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30-05-2012 17:27 #21
30-05-2012 17:34 #22There's valid reasons why young parents are looked down on, and it's just a fact of life that won't easily slide from society.
It's not valid and a mothers parenting skills should not be judged/based on what age she became a mother!
I was 19 when i had my DS. I'm now 26 with a 7 year old. I still get crap all the time. I find it best just to ignore it or just agree with them and their stupid opinion to make them happy.
Only the other night i finished work late so we had take away for dinner. The lady serving me asked if DS was my son. I said yes. She told me i was too young to be a mother and that i must in fact be DS's aunty. Then she went on to ask DS if i was his mum and told him off when he said yes because obviously i was just the aunty. WTF???
30-05-2012 17:41 #23
I dont think it ever stops. You're judge for having children later in life, you're judge for having children earlier in life. To society you're either a old mum or a young mum. Would be nice to be seen just as a mum not a young mum wouldnt it.
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30-05-2012 17:43 #24
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30-05-2012 17:51 #25
I think tough love was just stating what a lot of people probably do think, but not meaning it in a mean way.
People judge, it's human nature. Don't let it worry you too much.
And for what it's worth, I'm a young mum, and haven't noticed any judgement. I don't give a flying **** what people think though so that probably helps.
Being over sensitive to older mums doesn't help either- you assume they're looking down on you. But how do you know they're not that way with everyone? It's an assumption based on your own insecurities.
I had a fellow young mum bleating about how wrong it was that people are having kids at 40. Where does it stop?
Honestly, if I could go back I'd have waited 5 years. If only I knew then what I know now!
However I'm beyond happy with things as they are now.
(sorry for the ramble, I'm in a rambling mood, haha)
30-05-2012 17:52 #26
I was not quite 15 when I had dd. I had moved out of home with dh at 17, due to family problems, got married when I was 20, have had ds who is now nearly 6 mths, we dont own our own house yet, although we were VERY close until I was pregnant, we own both of our cars, have savings and our children have never "needed" anything. I like to think dh and I have done well for our family at 22 & 25 yrs of age, and were planning on being pregnant within 6-12 mths.
But really mothers will always always be judged, no matter age, race, sexual orientation, parenting choices or even dress choices. So don't let it bother you too much.
30-05-2012 17:57 #27Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2009
I judge but I'll judge the 17 year old smoking next to her baby at the front of the shops and judge the 37 year old doing the same next to her.
I warned my teen pregnant SIL that she will get judged and to just grow thicker skin. She was getting around in tops showing half her belly so suggested she look at her wardrobe and perhaps dress with some more pride and respect. Suggestion she could take on preg or not!
30-05-2012 18:01 #28
I find that belief highly offensive. What exactly about being young makes a say 18yo mother inferior or any less of an adequate parent than say a 35yo mother!? Id love to hear what these 'valid reasons' are.
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30-05-2012 18:07 #29
I feel like it all the time! I'm going to be 23 this year and I feel like people are always giving me looks and have had a few comments. The funny thing is though when my younger sister (19) is pushing the pram she just gets loads of compliments!
30-05-2012 18:08 #30
Honestly I've only had good comments from older Mums!! I was 21 when I had DD and 24 when I had DS and there is a massive age divide now that DD is at school and I am with alot of other mums every day...
They haven't been judgey at all... In fact most of them say how lucky I am to have had my kids so young
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