Ok so... When I was pregnant, I told DP I don't really want to do the whole godparent thing mainly because I didn't want anyone to get hurt. She really wanted her sister to be bub's godmother, and we just couldn't agree. So we eventually decided that she could be godmother but we wouldn't make a big thing of it in case my sister (or anyone else) found it and got their feelings hurt.
I guess maybe DP forgot about telling her sister because she has posted a couple of things on facebook about her godson. Of course, now my sister has seen it and is upset. My mum has also told me she is hurt (don't know how it affects her though).
DP didn't want my sister to be a godmother because she doesn't feel she is responsible/mature enough, which then leads us into a disagreement because I don't really think her sister is the most responsible or mature person either.
I haven't spoken to DP about this yet because I don't know if we will be able to fix it... Suggestions welcome!!
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29-05-2012 12:02 #1
29-05-2012 12:08 #2
Do you mean a God parent as in you've had the baby/child baptised/christened?
29-05-2012 12:19 #3
29-05-2012 12:24 #4
I would just say to your Mum and sister, sorry you're upset, but its just an informal, un official thing that's not really set in stone, and your DP's sister is just so thrilled that she's an Aunty and likes to write that sort of stuff about her nephew, or something along those lines. I would make out to them (being that they're your own family) it's not really a big deal or anything and really play it down.
I hope it doesn't cause too much friction amongst your family!
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29-05-2012 12:27 #5
You can have two sets of god parents. When we got our children christened we had a set of godparents per child. At the end of the day arguements over the title are silly and pointless because people don't actually realise the role of godparents and are just wanting the 'title'...
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29-05-2012 12:28 #6
I am guardian (not godmother because we aren't religious) to my sisters biys. But one of the boys has 2 sets of guardians. So, cant you Just have 2 "guardian" mothers?
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29-05-2012 12:29 #7
29-05-2012 12:30 #8
Perhaps you could just pull your sister aside and tell her it's not official...just a novelty for your DP's sister?
We had the same issue but ended up falling out with GM1 and now are actually getting DD christened with a much better GM whose values and morals are better suited to our lifestyle and is the person we want around DD.
No idea if that made sense, I cant scroll up on my phone :|
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29-05-2012 12:50 #9
Thanks guys. I can talk to DP about having two godmothers but i don't know if she will agree because she does think my sister is irresponsible (she kinda is). Plus my sister will probably know we are only doing it because she got upset.
I think telling my family its unofficial and just to appease DS's sister might be best.
I just hate that I have ended up in the exact situation I wanted to avoid. And now my mum is being all melodramatic and saying she doesn't want it to tear our family apart blah blah blah.
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29-05-2012 12:57 #10
Are you thinking of having another bub in the future? If so, could you not tell your sister that she hasnt lost all chances of being a godmummy (and maybe she'll be a bit more mature by then )
My sister and Ex's Bro are DSs godparents. I felt bad for my brother but there is always the next bub who will need a godfather
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