With my 3 kids I had someone come stay with but I now wish I didn't the first time just so I could get into a routine quicker
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27-05-2012 21:16 #11
The Following User Says Thank You to roz2288 For This Useful Post:
27-05-2012 21:27 #12Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2009
- Gold Coast / Brisbane
My parents arrived the night dd was born and left after I had been home for 1 full day. I had mil around the corner but didn't see heaps of her, and husband was at work being self employed.
I managed, I had friends and their mums come over, if I got really stuck I would ask mil for help.
I didn't worry about cleaning, just food and often had a shower in the afternoon. I had no problems feeding either.
This time I will have my parents here for longer to help out with miss2
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The Following User Says Thank You to chookylaa For This Useful Post:
27-05-2012 21:31 #13
I prefer not to have anyone here after the birth of my bubs.
27-05-2012 21:36 #14
We stayed in the town where dd was born until she was 9days old and ten traveled home (350km from the hospital and family/friends) we had no one come stay or even pop around and hubby went back to work when we had been home 3 days. I am so glad we didn't have anyone there, it meant I didn't have to worry about having the house clean for people to pop by, I didn't have to get out of my pyjamas or cover up while learning to breastfeed. In saying that we went visiting friends and family a lot. Dd had done 5000km by 4 weeks, so maybe if we were t out seeing people and be active in our life's I would have felt alone and like I needed help
The Following User Says Thank You to Auntyamber For This Useful Post:
27-05-2012 21:40 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2007
I think if they live close by and can come by every now and again to help out, that would be great... .but if they are going to have to stay with you during the time it might be more of a hinderance than a help.
My DS1 was 5 weeks early and we had planned family to come down a couple of weeks after the due date. We ended up having 3 weeks with him in hospital and 4 weeks at home before anyone came to stay with us, and that time was fantastic for getting into our own little routine and just generally getting to know each other.
It was great to have family stay for a little while, but I'm so glad it wasn't for very long and it wasn't any earlier.
Maybe see how you're going for a few weeks and if you're really struggling maybe then you can ask them to visit?
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27-05-2012 22:09 #16
i was home from hosp day 3 after c-section. DH back to work day 2 of being home. I called my mum in a panic to come stay with me lol i freaked out a bit at the thought of being alone with this new baby.
In hindsight, i regret having mum stay overnight for a week. I felt guilty that bub's woke her up 5 times thru the night....yes, she'd come into our room and ask if everything was ok....grrrr!!!!!!! I felt uncomfortable learning to feed infront of my mum and felt incompetent at the fact she had to do my housework. But thats just me.
This time dh is taking 4 weeks leave and we wont be wanting anyone hanging around us during those first 4 weeks.
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27-05-2012 22:13 #17
No i dont have anyone come and stay with me, i couldnt think of anything worse, the pressure of havng people here watching me, trying to interfere/take over etc no thanks.
Im quite lucky this time around this bubba is due right before the christmas school holidays so dh(teacher) will have a good 6 weeks home with me ^_^.
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27-05-2012 23:08 #18
I'd keep it as an option, but don't set it in stone yet. As you can probably tell from the above posts, everyone is different. Some like the extra help (and have supportive, helpful family) and others like a more private settling-in period with bub (or have not-so-helpful family). If your husband is going to be home the first couple of weeks, you'll probably enjoy just getting to be a family alone and getting to know your baby, make a routine etc. That said, it never hurts to know that you can just call someone and they'll be around in a flash to help.
I personally didn't want others staying with us after bub was born. Sometimes people can be a bit too helpful for my liking, and kind of take over. However, I knew that if I was feeling exhausted/hopeless/depressed/lonely etc in the middle of the night (esp since DH works away) that my mum would be there in minutes, and not even mind being woken up. Love my mum.
Whatever you decide, the important thing to remember is - you have the right to change your mind! If someone IS staying, and they start to get a bit much you can ask them to tone it down, or even leave (nicely). If you've decided to do it alone, I'm sure you can still get the help you need if you change your mind. Hope it all goes well.
The Following User Says Thank You to Psylent For This Useful Post:
28-05-2012 12:01 #19Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
Thank you so much for your feedback. I really do appreciate it.
My parents live overseas. So after reading all these posts I think what we will do is see how I cope after DH goes back to work. If I'm finding it 'impossible' to cope I will then ask them to come.
Like some of you have said, everyone is different. If bubs is a great sleeper & feeds well, we might just be fine on our own.
I plan to talk to them sometime soon though & tell them about our plans & be very clear about what they should expect. Especially make it clear to them that I will not be cooking for them.
Yes it would have been ideal if they lived locally & could just pop in with take away or look after bubs for a few hours & then leave. Sadly won't happen for us.
28-05-2012 12:21 #20love my kidlets
- Join Date
- Jun 2010
no.. no way.
even hubby went back to work the day we got home - and that was with all 4.
seriously i think its easier to get on with it and get into your own routine. you're the parent.
if anything the best help they could give is making freezable meals(though you can do that whilst preg ) or help out with cleaning.. but most babies sleep alot. its seriously not that hard
see how you go. but moving someone in? nooo lol
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