My friend and I cannot agree on what should be done with photos and other sentimental items concerning ex's when you have a new partner.
So just wondering what did everyone else do? Did you keep them? Did you throw them away if so how far into the new relationship were you?
I don't have to worry about this at the moment, and not really sure what I would do if my partner asked me to get rid of stuff from my ex's.
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25-05-2012 23:07 #1Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2011
Photo's of ex's and other sentimental items.
25-05-2012 23:12 #2
I threw mine out when I got with DH. I just knew he was the one from really early on (although we'd be friends for a while before) and the notion of keeping photos and love letters just felt like a betrayal.
Not saying it is as such, that's just how I felt. If you are over someone, you don't need to keep photos etc. Again just my opinion
25-05-2012 23:27 #3-
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
I have kept mine in a box. Its not for me, its for the kids. I know one thing I wish I had, are photos of my parents together and happy. Plus its a little history for the kids to see what we got up to together. Dont really give a **** what my DP thinks about it. Told him that too lol
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25-05-2012 23:32 #4
I threw out most sentimental items over the years (except a couple of bits of jewellery, lol!). However photos are still around somewhere, but to me, they're part of my memories and remind me of what made me who I am today, so I see no reason to delete or get rid of them. I just never really look at them.
DH still has pics on his computer of his last wedding to his ex, and some of the things they did together throughout their relationship. I don't have a problem with it, as long as he's not sitting there looking at them without me knowing (or knowing why!).
25-05-2012 23:40 #5
When I moved out of home coz I was getting married it all went in the bin
26-05-2012 00:05 #6
I've culled some things through the years, but kept a lot of photos. As a pp said, they're part of my history. My life wasn't a blank slate before I met dp.
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26-05-2012 00:28 #7
I have everything packed away in a box in the back of my wardrobe. Love letters, cards, tickets from places we went, rose petals from Valentine's day flowers. I was extremely sentimental.
They're not happy things for me now, and I can't imagine why I would ever look at them again...but I keep them because I want my children to know that we did love each other once. I want them to know that before everything turned horrible, we were in love, and that they were both made in a loving relationship, even if it doesn't seem like it now.
In saying all of that, I have two boys...so who knows if they'll ever even be interested in any of that. I think at some point, it will be nice for them. I wish I had something like that from my parents.
26-05-2012 06:04 #8
I tossed everything other then the cat and a teddy bear ex's Nan made me. I had no reason to keep onto any of it.
26-05-2012 06:23 #9
If it's an ex that you have kids with, i think it's important to keep some things for the child. Although your feelings for the ex have changed it is important for the child to know a little history about their parents and how they came about.
I have a couple of items from ex's (the ones i didn't have DD with) and my DH knows who they are from (even met one of my ex's) and doesn't care. I keep them because it reminds me of the happy times with them, i'm friends with most of my ex's now.
DD's father, however, is an a$$ and i wanted to throw all the stuff he gave me out, but i've kept alot of it for DD for when she's older. All the jewelry that he gave me will be given to her on her 16/18/21 birthdays, the stuffed toys he gave me she already has, the photos- she's got a album with them in it, but i have some more for when she's older. The other stuff he gave me (birthday presents) she'll get when she's older because they are really nice.
She asks me alot of stories about when him and i were together and she always tells me that we decided we didn't love each other anymore so we decided to love our new partners instead and be happy so she could be happy (i told her this when she was about 3 and she's kept saying it since). She asks alot of questions about when we were together, i've never told her the ''real'' reason we split up, but all the stuff she has keeps her happy knowing that mummy and daddy once loved each other enough to have her.
26-05-2012 06:27 #10
This is rather relevant actually. When I was younger I took hundreds of photos and had them all in an album.
A friend of mine died a few years ago and another friend has asked me if I have any photos of him. On looking through my album every second photo that has a picture of an ex in it has been removed and thrown out (by DH). Including photos of my friend who died.
I think that's totally wrong of someone to do that. I don't see anything wrong with having photos of an ex. It's not like I look at them but it's part of my life back then and it's nice to have a record of that. I am furious at DH.
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