Honestly, it would probably stop and make me go "Okay, odd, but Ooke". Thing is, DP and I are two seperate people. Our thoughts and feelings are our own. I trust him completely that if it's something I need to know, then I will. If not, then he's free to do as he likes. Just because we're in a partnership doesn't take away our individual rights to privacy, whether it's a man or woman. Our friends dont have genders, theyre just friends and if I started treating my DP like he had no rights to privacy and personal conversation, then there'd be no point in us being in a relationship.
Feelings are always valid, theyre feelings and you have the rights to them, but before everyone in this thread started saying there might be something more sinister going on, did you think there was? If YOU thought there was, originally and with no outside influence, then there might be, but otherwise I think that how you react to this situation may end up damaging your trust in your partner, just from the inkling of doubt placed there by other people.
If he's always had female friends and he's never given you a reason not to trust him, then why are you now?? It may be that since she's separated from her husband, she needs someone to talk to and if your husband and her are closer than you and her are, it may just be she finds it easier to talk to him than you and she trusts him that HER thoughts and feelings won't be shared with all and sundry.
My best friend is also my ex fiance and I trust that what I say to him stays with him, and he doesn't tell his current DP despite them living together with a baby on the way. The reason this is is because I'm entitled to privacy for my thoughts and feelings, and he and his DP are two seperate people. I would be very unhappy if I found out that it went beyond him and I because she demanded to know everything I do, say, think and feel and would promptly end the friendship.
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26-05-2012 10:15 #41Senior Member
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T 800 (26-05-2012)
26-05-2012 11:01 #42
Can i just say my best friend is a male he means so much to me we tell each other everything i would never show my husband what we talk about if its my best friend thats asking the advice cause his problems r private and as his best mate thats my job to keep them private but if its me asking him i dont have a problem with my husband reading the texts cause its never about him cause if i have a problem with my husband trust me i will tell him! its different for men my husband talks to his mates at work a lot but he always ends up telling me its not the talking to her u have to worry about its the keeping the secrets that would worry me
26-05-2012 11:43 #43
I completely agree that what a friend tells your partner is private. In this particular instance though he seemed to indicate that he was the one milling his thoughts over with her. I'm sure if it was her seeking advise from him, he would have said so, and I wouldn't have pressed him for any info about it.
Unfortunately he's pretty good at looking dodgy, even if he's not! It's not the first time I've been suspicious of his actions, however he's never given me any solid evidence that he's been unfaithful.
I know this girl fairly well. I don't think shes a husband stealer or anything, but she did split with her partner earlier this year, leaving her a single mum. THIS IS IN NO WAY A DIG AT SINGLE MUMS, but it has crossed my mind that my DH could be appealing to her because he is like what she didn't have in her relationship with her kids dad... Does that make sense?
TBH, the thing I was most upset with was that he confided in her with his thoughts/feelings and he didn't even try to talk to me about any of it. Sure I talk to my friends about stuff but usually it's either because I've tried talking to him and he's not great at handling problems, particularly if it's about out relationship (head in the sand kind of thing), or its about "lady" things (he's a man, so he wouldn't discuss man issues with a woman!)
Trying to be open mined about it, buy in definitely going to keep an eye on the situation from a distance.
26-05-2012 13:02 #44
There are no ifs or butts.. He is behaving inappropriately.. 100%! Put it this way.. Hes most likely cheating. I'm sorry to state the obvious.. But it's most likely the truth.
Oh.. And woman's intuition is almost never wrong! If you suspect it.. It's probably happening.
***Sent from my phone***
Last edited by Happy2be3; 26-05-2012 at 13:08.
26-05-2012 13:18 #45
I would leave my husband if he did that. I have major insecurities, which blurs my judgement a lot. My DH is well aware of then though and if he ever did that it would be emotional abuse for ME.
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26-05-2012 13:25 #46
Yup.. No sugar coating from me :-) I speak from experience and know the warning signs.
Put it another way.. Your HUSBAND is texting the FEMALE single neighbour? Why??? He then hides it?? Why??
***Sent from my phone***
26-05-2012 13:29 #47
26-05-2012 13:33 #48
OP I think you just need to store this info and follow your instincts. If could very well be nothing. Hope it all clears up quickly for you
26-05-2012 13:40 #49
I would suggest the OP do what I did.. Ask outright if he's cheating, if anything at all has happened.. You'll know immediately by his body language of he's lying.
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26-05-2012 13:43 #50Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
I would be extremely upset if I were you. I get upset when my husband doesn't tell me what's going on with his male friends!
My husband has said men don't have females as friends and I am a firm believer of that.
Keep your foot down on this one mate you have every right to feel how you do. I would also be going over to my neighbors house asking her who the hell she thinks she is.
After splitting from her partner she prob just wants some male attention to make her feel better. Not on!!
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