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23-05-2012 15:06 #1
Inlaws and baby etiquette (warning long rant)
Last edited by Meld85; 03-10-2012 at 10:12.
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23-05-2012 15:11 #2Senior Member
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- May 2012
Just sounds like she is pretty clueless when it comes to kids ... Would suggest to try to be patient with her , she is obviously, totally, head over heels in love with him. (just perhaps misguided
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23-05-2012 15:18 #3
On an off day I can be really short with them when it comes to their little ways, but in general I have come to accept that they just honestly have no idea, and want to be around him.all.the.time! Bath him, feed him, dress him, settle him... everything!
Unless you are worried about his safety around him, I would try and be a bit more patient. Put your foot down when need be, but the little things let go. For the short time SIL visits I realised it wasnt worth the arguments it was causing between DH & I.
23-05-2012 20:19 #4
Can you talk to mil & fil... Agreed she doesn't seem to understand ... But maybe she just needs someone to give her the heads up!
I am with u on the baby edict I don't ask to hold a newbie and I sit down when I am offered a nurse .... If they start to get unsettled I offer the child straight back to mum... I do not kiss or get to close to Newbies
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23-05-2012 20:54 #5-
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Could part of the issue be that she's hanging around too much? When my parents hang around a lot EVERYTHING they do annoys me.
I think you have valid concerns. Perhaps be a little more forceful
In drawing the line. For example, if M doesn't hand you bub when you ask just look at her and say "NOW please." if she argues Say "NOW.". She will get the hint.
Or you could try pre-empting. Eg. When handing bub to M say "I will need bub back in 10 minutes for a feed.". Then 5 minutes before the deadline say to bub "oh bubba, you only have another 5 minutes of cuddles with Aunty M before dinner."
If M is sick then just grab bub and keep her away.
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23-05-2012 21:43 #6
Aaargfhh.. She sounds like your typical annoying inlaw.. You have my sympathies!
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23-05-2012 23:08 #7
I still am the same with a lot of people. I guess not many people ever come close to the way I like things done. I just keep in mind that they love DS very much, may not have much idea, won't deliberately hurt him or make him sick, etc.
I also try and keep in mind that if he goes to daycare one day a lot more things will happen that I may not like, especially going there with other kids that may have been sent sick!
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23-05-2012 23:31 #8-
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24-05-2012 02:28 #9
I think you have every right to be annoyed. Like others have said, she does sound a bit clueless about kids BUT I don't think this excuses her for some of the things you mentioned.
I would really try to get your husband to listen to your concerns and how anxious you are about seeing the inlaws now & get him to speak to his sister or to at least back you up in these situations when she acts like this.
Good luck xx
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27-05-2012 20:08 #10
Thanks ladies for taking the time to reply.
I will take all your advice and try to be more patient however I will keep my stance on germs and if she is sick I will just have to say a bit more sternly that I would prefer her not to hold him if she has been sick. Maybe within ear shot of my MIL who also seems to hate germs lol
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